Post columnist Steve Serby throws some Q&A to recently acquired Yankees pitcher Brandon McCarthy.
Q: What do you remember from when you were hit by the Erick Aybar line drive two years ago?
A: I remember scratching my head a bunch. I remember kinda fixing my hair, and still not certain why I was doing that. And then I remember having a conscious thought of, “I’m gonna need a craniotomy,” I have no idea, the word just kept going through my head. And then everything from that point until surgery I remember fine.
Q: Did you think your career was over?
A: I thought I might die. So then I guess in that sense, yes. You’re aware of all the possibilities, but especially once I woke up from surgery, it was never a consideration of, “My career might be over.”
Q: On the way to the hospital, that’s when you were thinking, “I might die”?
A: My brain was still functioning, so it at least had the rational thought to realize, “Hey, we’re about to get operated on. I don’t think this is ever a great thing.” So I knew … you might shut your eyes and this is the last time. There’s a thought of that, but it’s not something you sit and dwell on. It’s a 30-minute ambulance ride and this is a new thing that’s gonna happen, and we’ll see what happens.
Q: What do you remember about the road back after the surgery?
A: The week in the hospital kinda sucked, especially like the first three days after brain surgery, you can’t have any liquid, so you can’t drink anything, and that was the one thing that I remember more than anything, was just [an] unbelievable feeling like you’re dying of thirst. And that was horrible ’cause you’re also on a salt drip the whole time, so your body’s trying to soak up every bit of fluid so your brain doesn’t get any of it. So that was the worst part, and then once I was able to start drinking again, at that point then it’s just a hospital stay. You’re comfortable, people are feeding you, you’ve got your own pee bucket, everybody’s showing you pity. You’re concussed, so that kinda sucks. Until I got moved out of the hospital, it was not a fantasy camp, but it was just a hotel stay where I can’t get out of bed.
Q: Mothers being mothers, did yours tell you she didn’t think you should pitch again?
A: It wasn’t something that was ever really talked about. I know it was scary as hell for my family, but we didn’t sit around and have long, philosophical discussions about it. I went home, recovered, and then once it was time to go, I started working out.
Q: That’s something as a pitcher you just have to block out of your mind, right?
A: If you get in a car accident, you still want to drive, you just gotta get behind the wheel and push the gas and go. And I think it’s just like anything, you just kinda move on and go do the next thing. Early on in the process I remember thinking: You either want to retire or you want to keep playing. If the option is want to keep playing, then you don’t think about anything else and you keep playing. If you want to retire, then go ahead and tell everybody, shut it down.
Q: Have you ever watched a replay of it?
A: I saw it like a week after I got out of the hospital, I was sitting in the weight room in Oakland, and it just popped up in the TV. And that was the only time I’ve seen it. I’ve seen a bunch of pictures of it, but that was the only time I actually saw the video. And it was like, “I don’t really want to see that again.” I don’t go out of my way to not see it, but I try not to look at it, I guess.
Q: Was your seizure in a Scottsdale, Ariz., restaurant last year a scary episode?
A: Not for me, it was for my wife, ’cause she was the one that had to deal with keeping me up there and then trying to explain to everybody in the restaurant what was happening. You kinda get that sense of vulnerability again, like, “Is this gonna be a thing that happens to people?” The only thing that changed from that point on, then I had to go on anti-seizure medication.
Q: How often do you take now?
A: Twice a day.
Q: Describe the first time you were on the mound after that, in spring training.
A: I don’t remember it being much different. … I worked for six months on not so much blocking it out but making the focus on what happens next.
Q: What is your temperament on the mound?
A: I try to keep it flat-line — where there’s nothing high, there’s nothing low, it’s just always kinda stay in the same place. I used to ride the emotional wave a little bit more and I realize that would just leave me just dead exhausted mentally. And now I try to keep it where [it’s] always the same and it’s just a complete, singular focus good or bad — focus on the next pitch, focus on the next pitch, not the larger picture. It’s suited me better, it helps me get through low points easier. But it’s something that you always kinda have to keep track of, and you just want to keep it right in one, smooth place.
Q: What have you learned about Derek Jeter as a teammate that you didn’t know about him?
A: He does walk, he doesn’t float everywhere (smile). But other than that, he’s been essentially what I expected. You always heard he’s a solid guy, a good teammate, good presence in the clubhouse, and that’s exactly what he is.
Q: Describe the first time you pitched in Yankee Stadium, as a member of the White Sox on July 14, 2006.
A: It was in the old Stadium, coming out in relief. For me, it’s one of my better memories in the big leagues and I’m not saying this ’cause I play here now. I came in in a bases-loaded game when I was in the bullpen [and striking out pinch hitter Andy Phillips before being relieved]. And running on the field, you’ve seen that view of coming from behind the pen at the old Yankee Stadium, the view of Mariano [Rivera] entering, and you see all of Yankee Stadium in front of him. When I was running onto the field, that’s what you’re looking at. It just felt like this weird out-of-body experience where it was … you feel like * him * while you’re running in for whatever reason.
Q: You enjoy playing in New York?
A: Yeah. Obviously, success makes things even better but I like the guys, I like the way the organization goes about its business, I like just that quiet professionalism, and everybody’s been first-class. Night-game getaway days is the only negative.
Q: Is it the cutter what has made the difference for you?
A: Kind of expanding the mix of pitches that I throw, the cutter certainly helps all that. There’s a good rapport with the catchers here, and I think the coaching staff has a good idea of what it takes to get the most out of my stuff. And then for me at that point, it’s just going out and executing. They’ve made it easier on me to go out and have success, and then in turn you start to build confidence, and it’s a self-fulfilling thing.
Q: Was there a time when you lost confidence?
A: Yeah, when I was 1-10 and you’ve got a 5 ERA and you’re on a losing team and everything is just a dogfight and you’re scuffling and scuffling and scuffling. I kept the same amount of confidence in myself, but it just shows up in big situations, and you should be able to get out of ’em, you just don’t have that same last little bit of conviction that it takes to do it. So, you feel like the same person, but you just notice that you’re just not quite the same, and then things don’t seem to turn out as well.
Q: So do you think the Yanks got a steal when they made the trade with Arizona to get you?
A: I hope so. I felt like good things were coming no matter where I was this year.
Q: Have you visited the monuments yet?
A: I haven’t. That’s actually on the agenda for this homestand.
Q: Describe the moment you won the World Series with the 2005 White Sox.
A: Being there was unbelievable, and to do it in your rookie year where it’s too soon, you don’t have an appreciation for just how hard it is to get to that point. You think, “Well this is just how it’s gonna be.” You don’t have that full sense of perspective. Not being on the playoff roster, it kinda takes some of that shine off it, but knowing that you were a part of a World Series in the major leagues, it’s too much to absorb that early on in the big leagues.
Q: Any specific personal memory?
A: Frank Thomas was my absolute god growing up, and we had lockers next to each other during that season, and just being there and seeing some things with him during that World Series I’ll never forget.
Q: He was your boyhood idol?
A: Oh yeah, he’s the whole reason I’m a baseball player.
Q: He’s not a pitcher.
A: I was a small, skinny white kid, and for some reason I related with a humongous, power-hitting black first baseman. Everything about the way he played, just his hitting style, just made sense to me. Even when I tried to hit, that’s who I tried to hit like.
Q: What pitchers did you admire?
A: When I was younger it was Orel Hershiser. I was living just outside of Los Angeles. That was when I was 5, 6 years old. And then, once Orel retired, I didn’t really have a favorite pitcher until really Mark Prior came along, and then from that point it was Roy Halladay.
Q: Who are some athletes in other sports you admire?
A: Steven Gerrard in soccer is probably my favorite. I grew up a big fan of [Joe] Montana and Jerry Rice.
Q: If I were commissioner of baseball, I would …
A: I would shorten the regular season, extend the playoffs. Everything I would do would be based on keeping the best players on the field longer and more often.
Q: Who’s a better tweeter, you or your wife?
A: I am. Because hers [are] mostly day updates, and I tell her this. But I think she’s generally more popular, I’d say on a larger scale, but for my taste, it’s me.
Q: What is your tweeting philosophy?
A: Random stuff that pops up that I feel like blurting out in an attempt to be funny. Mostly it’s kinda stupid thoughts that I try and see if I can make funny in some way. Then other things that I take seriously and actually feel like talking about, but just kinda random grab-bag of stuff.
Q: You tweeted: “After next season, what would you rather have in a baseball clubhouse: Alex Rodriguez, or MRSA.”
A: That was the news at the time, and when you’re from the outside looking in, you never know how things are actually once you’re inside of ’em. So that was kinda based on that, that I’m a guy who plays for another team. … It was a funny thought that popped in my head, but it was just kinda from the outside looking in, still just kind of a general question.
Q: Would you have a problem if he was a teammate?
A: Every time you get a new teammate, you can’t have a problem going in. I’ve had guys on the field that I haven’t liked in the past and then you get in the clubhouse and then all of a sudden you find out, “No, this is a great guy.” So you try to judge everyone on the situation that you’re with when you’re actually playing with them. And at that point, you treat it as a whole new situation.
Q: You have a dog?
A: West hyland terrier.
Q: Name?
A: Hobbes.
Q: Why is Amanda the perfect girl for you?
A: She’s about as level-headed and rational as it gets. She’s like me in that she doesn’t put a lot of emotion into things, and so it’s when I’m being a pain in the [butt], it just kinda falls off her back. The baseball life she doesn’t really faze her one way or the other, the ups and downs of it, the whole thing with the hospital, all that, she just kinda lets it go, and it’s just every new moment is a new moment. She likes humor.
Q: How did you propose?
A: There’s a restaurant by our house in Dallas, we went out for dinner one night, and I just had it planned there with I just asked her. I’m not big with grand, romantic gestures, I can’t dream up most scenarios and do all this. It was kind of a “How can I screw this up the least?” So that’s how I went about it.
Q: Three dinner guests?
A: [Jerry] Seinfeld, Satchel Paige, Louis Zamperini.
Q: What drives you?
A: I don’t know. Not a fear of failure. … It’s what I enjoy doing, and then anything I try to do, I want to be as good as I possibly can be. That’s what drives me, is the idea of never going backwards, just always trying to go forward, I think that’s what keeps me going.