Critter cravers far and wide venture way, way down Mexico’s Baja Peninsula to swim with cuddly sea lion babies. Others flock there in the winter to pet the majestic, surprisingly social whales as they breach on by.
But me? I came for the sea goats.
Full disclosure: these aren’t some amphibious chupacabras with gills and fins to go along with their horns and hipster beards. Rather, the “sea goats” on wee-little Isla Espíritu Santo in the Gulf of California are simply wild goats that’ve evolved to drink seawater — which, as far as mammals go, is pretty impressive. And rare (don’t you go and try it at home!). But their other hobbies, having virtually no predators, include eating just about everything in their path and more or less hijacking the 31-square-mile island’s eco-system (talk about a nanny state, narf!).
As such, they’re considered a pesky little varmint by many of the locals. And if you can manage to catch one, it’s all yours — they insist!
But before I could try and bag one, I was signed up to pet some whales. Fiiiiiiine, I’ll pet some whales. If I have to.
I’m shacked up at CostaBaja Resort & Spa in La Paz, Baja California Sur — an open-air-lobbied desert oasis set right on a 250-slip marina (from $257; costabajaresort.com). Rooms are dark and woody, sparsely furnished and equipped with generously sized flatscreens. Check your bashfulness at the door, though, and bunk with someone you enjoy seeing naked; those peek-a-boo glass showers in the middle of the room are very much see-through. Each unit has a view-friendly balcony and while the walls are a little on the thin side, that sound coming from your neighbor’s room is just them watching a Spanish-dubbed version of “This Is 40.”
Enough Apatow antics — it’s time for those whales. To get to Baja’s best cetacean-peeping spot we file into an Ecobaja Tours shuttle and drive a good three hours northwest through the desert on Highway 1 (fittingly named, ’cause it’s the only one) to Puerto López Mateos, on the other side of the peninsula. There, we board a small boat helmed by Hector Manuel Corazon Acosta, in the blowhole biz some 20 years, and leisurely motor about Bahía Magdalena, a warm-watered bay protected by sandy barrier islands. Finally, after a bit of anxious nothingness, we see them — and wow.
Averaging 30-to-50 feet in length and weighing up to 40 tons, this bay’s gray whales seem oblivious to the fact that they could just innocently burp and all of a sudden capsize our boat. They’re amazingly gentle — a little bashful at first, flashing little more than back fat and giant, atramental eyeballs out of the water. But when they get to know you a little better, they give great tail. And yes, they will absolutely come up to the boat looking for pets. Of the 178 whales that use the bay as a nursery, Lucrecia — whom Hector recognizes by her wavy-shaped head (no offense, ma’am) — and her baby calf seem as big of fans of ours as we of theirs. For a couple of non-sea goats, they sure do impress. (Tours are $145pp, including transpo and a seafood lunch; ecobajatours.com).
But what about those dagnabbin’ goats? The next day, the chipper young folk of Grupo Fun Baja lead a scouting expedition to the very glamp-able Isla Espíritu Santo, back near the resort off the coast of La Paz. With GoPro cams and chilled Tecates at the ready, we are hot on their trail, taking to the water by cruiser boat from the marina. But the first rule of Grupo Fun Baja club: When you see a baby sea lion, you snorkel with it.
‘Tis a welcome detour — the sea lion babies nap in small, synchronized-swimmer circles, each with one flipper pointed in the air for sunshine, while their doting parents keep tabs on them from the rocks (whom you do not want to mess with; they’re like soccer moms on ‘roids). When the babies do stir and ultimately see you, they’ll indeed swim over, screwdriving through the clear waters, hoping you’re as willing to play as they are. Stick a finger out to get their attention — just yoink it back in when they’re close!
The day ends with some dolphin and pterodactyl-sized pelican sightings, a little light kayaking, quesadillas on Isla Partida’s Ensenada Grande beach, wind-in-your-face stand-up paddleboarding and a great emptying of those Tecates. But, alas, nary a sea goat in sight. I suppose I’ll have to stick to the roti at the Jamaican joint back home for my fix.
Oh well, more for you to adopt! (Tours are $105pp, including snorkel equipment, snacks and drinks on board, tour guide and lunch; funbaja.com)