Flying can be such a drag. Between infinite security checks, screaming infants and cramped leg room, it’s enough to make people question why they boarded a plane in the first place.
Luckily, this Southwest Airlines flight attendant was on board to remedy his passenger’s gripes.
His pre-flight speech was rife with wit and sarcasm, chastising passengers who don’t know how to use a seatbelt and heckling women with mismatched shoes, socks and handbags.
“That seatbelt needs to be low and tight across your hips just like the hot pink Speedo I’m gonna be wearing when I finally get the three of us to a hotel hot tub tonight,” he said to cheers.
He also reminded the cabin about the hazards of smoking on an airplane. “Folks, it’s $2,200 for tampering with the smoke detector in the lavatory, and you know if you had $2,200, you’d be on United Airlines in first class.”
Lastly, he offered some advice that all mothers should take to heart. “For those of you traveling with your children, why? For those of you traveling with two of your children, what in the world were you thinking? But when those masks fall, you’ll want to put the mask on the bright one — that one’s going to contribute to your retirement most successfully.”
According to the YouTube user who posted the video, the flight attendant also hosted a cocktail party midway through the flight. Virgin America’s #VXsafetydance has nothing on this guy.