One topic that hasn’t yet been furiously and emotionally debated between Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith on ESPN’s “First Take” is: Which is the better place from which to watch ESPN, from jail (or prison) or at home?
Perhaps that’s because they’d agree: Jail. Ya see, when you begin to bang your head against a wall while incarcerated, the guards are legally obligated to strap you into a restraining chair to prevent you from further hurting yourself. At home, well, you’re on your own.
This week’s “First Take” included this selected debate topic: Who has had the better career and will leave the greater legacy, Peyton Manning or Derek Jeter?
Aside from the fact they were both special — no vapid, ESPN-like measurements wanted or needed — that confused reader David McBride, who wondered if Bayless and Smith know Manning and Jeter play two very different sports.
I can’t answer for them or ESPN, sir, but I have obtained next week’s “Who’s Better?” “First Take” topics list. It includes: Oscar Mayer or Oscar Gamble; Mr. Ed or Mrs. Paul (and her fish sticks); Chris Berman or Emmett Kelly, the Atlanta Hawks or Mothra; Dan Patrick or Danica Patrick; and Friday’s big finish, LeBron James or Charles de Gaulle.
Also on This Week In Head-Banging, ESPN presented a documentary on Dan Marino, the 27th pick in the 1983 draft. It included a show and tell of lesser players, some forgotten, who for various reasons including overestimated ability, were selected before Marino.
Thus the secondary theme was the “you-never really know” reality of the NFL Draft, a reality that existed before the 1983 draft and, as of last night, remains. But that stands to logic — the kind easily ignored — as applied to a game in which 22 men act and interact at the same time.
Yet before and after the Marino piece, ESPN continued its annual hard, relentless sell of its NFL Draft experts as holders of all the current and future answers to this year’s draft.
So the lesson that we learned from ESPN’s Marino bio is that it either doesn’t apply to ESPN’s experts or that we quickly forget it, at least in time for Thursday night’s draft.
Sunday, after the Nets eliminated Toronto — the start of a new week after one filled with ESPN commentators dutifully eviscerating the remains of Donald Sterling — SportsCenter reminded us while rapper Drake’s hometown team, the Raptors, are done, we can still enjoy Drake as the honored host of ESPN’s ESPYs Awards show in July.
What Drake does for a living — rapping, recording and retailing bigoted, N-worded, boastful, vulgar, women-trashing hate (today’s suggested Drake number is “The Motto,” look it up for yourself) — is far uglier and backwards-pointed than what Sterling was overheard saying in private.
But only those who refuse to indulge or suffer the ideal and pursuit of equality through two sets of very different rules would be bothered by that. In a world gone nuts, the fair-minded run the risk of condemnation as racists.
Reader Phil Glowatz: “Sterling’s mistake was that he didn’t rap his words as lyrics, throw in some N-words, reference women as b—–s and wh—s. Then he could have been invited to the White House to perform for the President.”
Forget it, Mr. Glowatz; either you play by two sets of rules or get out of the game. Otherwise, you’re just banging your head against the wall.
Yanks learn peril of no backup plan
I wronged YES’s Ken Singleton here Monday, writing he didn’t mention Carlos Beltran’s failure to back up center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury on what became an inside-the-park homer by the Rays’ Wil Myers.
In fact, better late than never — during the fourth replay and after two pitches to the next batter — Singleton stated Beltran’s unaccountable absence. I jumped the gun; I apologize.
Forget us, if ever there was a play that serves as Exhibit A as to how baseball, at its highest level, is now played, that was it:
First, Myers, last year’s American League Rookie of the Year, jogged the entire way to first, falsely and foolishly presuming the ball would be caught or gone. Yet he was able to circle the bases because right fielder Beltran, at $15 million per, on a deep high fly, didn’t bother to even casually move to back up the play.
Folks making $9.25 an hour are fired for such an approach to their jobs.
Oh, Robinson Cano, Sunday against the Astros, had a triple! After 27 triples in his first seven major league seasons, that was his second in the last three seasons.
Hey, Mets, that’s not the rule!
The Mets are now wearing a Mr. Met logo on the left sleeve of their blue jerseys (on sale now!). Reader Mike McIntee notes that’s a violation of Official Baseball Rule 1.11 (e): “No part of the uniform shall include a pattern that imitates or suggests the shape of a baseball.”
♦ Wednesday, in the first 2:50 of an interview about the draft with NFLN’s Steve Mariucci, Mike Francesa interrupted him, cut him off, didn’t allow him a complete thought or sentence 12 times. So I shut it off.
♦ Kevin Burkhardt, William Paterson College (now University) Class of 1997, will deliver the school’s 191st commencement address Wednesday at the Izod Center.
♦ We’ve heard from several readers suggesting fielders approaching the stands in pursuit of foul pops — especially at home — shout something such as, “Leave it alone!” rather than risk dueling for the ball with up-front fans. Makes sense.
♦ Well before Shaquille O’Neill mocked that man born with a disfigured face, he ridiculed Asians by speaking gibberish, an antiquated parody of the Chinese. But he’s still seen as a paid endorser in all kinds of commercials, because that’s how it goes.
♦ After the Nets eliminated the Raptors, they announced the top of the Empire Stadium will be lighted in their team colors, black and white. “How do you light a building in black?” asks reader E.H. Easily, you turn off the lights.
♦ I know it’s far too late for this, but John Sterling sending it to commercials with, “After one, no score,” doesn’t much help those who don’t know who the Yankees are playing, does it?
♦ MLB.com now has a dating site for baseball-minded singles. Seriously. It’s a chance for Yankees-fan couples to get to second base before Alfonso Soriano.