To the tune of Stephen Sondheim’s “No One Is Alone” — or, if you don’t know it, “The Candy Man” (they’re practically interchangeable) — let’s all sing an ode to the Public Theater’s misbegotten revival of “Into the Woods.”
Oskar cannot guide you
Now that you’ve been panned
Broadway doesn’t want you
It won’t lend a hand
You will close alone, sadly
You will close alone
Sometimes shows don’t transfer
You are one of those
Steve and Jim don’t like you
So you’re on your own
You will close alone, sadly
You will close alone
I don’t care what Public Theater officials are telling the New York Times. Nobody — nobody — around Shubert Alley believes that “Into the Woods” is moving to Broadway after it plays its last performance Sept. 1 at the Delacorte in Central Park.
Broadway producer Joey Parnes told the Times yesterday that he’s working with the nonprofit Public to “make a transfer happen.”
Never mind the negative reviews. Or the fact that he hasn’t done a budget. Or lined up the cast. Or raised the money. He’s working with the Public to make a transfer happen!
Actually, what he’s doing is running the idea of a move up the Times flagpole to see if any suckers — sorry, I did it again; I meant to write “investors” — might be willing to cough up $7 million for the move.
“Joey Parnes is an innovator. He’s using the New York Times as a backers’ audition,” says a veteran producer with a chuckle.
I wonder if, in the offering papers, he’ll include Ben Brantley’s negative review?
Why all this idiotic talk of a transfer?
Because Oskar Eustis, the artistic director of the Public, is obsessed with Broadway. His nonprofit rivals — Lincoln Center, the Roundabout, Manhattan Theater Club — all control Broadway theaters, which means their productions are eligible for Tony Awards.
Eustis is stuck downtown on Lafayette Street, but he’s desperate to stake his claim on Broadway. And so many of the shows he produces — with public subsidies — he does with that in mind.
“Into the Woods” is Exhibit A.
The Public didn’t create this production. It brought it over from London, where it played (apparently with happier results) in Regent’s Park.
Once upon a time, Joe Papp, founder of the Public, gave some rehearsal space to a budding director named Michael Bennett to create a show about Broadway dancers. It turned out to be “A Chorus Line,” and it wound up making millions for the Public.
But Papp didn’t give Bennett space because he was looking for a big, fat commercial hit. He was simply supporting an artist he believed in. “A Chorus Line” was an experiment — with happy results.
Eustis is doing it the other way around. He’s on the prowl for the sure Broadway bet, and so he does revivals of musicals that already have proved their financial viability — like “Hair,” which he shipped to Broadway two years ago.
But his Broadway schemes have gone awry with “Into the Woods.”
Timothy Sheader, who’s supposed to be a hot-shot British director, mucked up the production. He was unable, I’m told, to handle the fast pace of putting on a show in Central Park.
After this fiasco, he’ll be lucky if anyone hires him to put on a Punch and Judy show in Tompkins Square Park.
Production sources tell me that Donna Murphy, who plays the witch, is not happy. She’s complained about her costume, with good reason. It makes her look like the Swamp Thing. And why is her face smeared with Navajo war paint?
Amy Adams, who plays the Baker’s Wife, has no intention of going to Broadway with the show, production sources say. Once she gets that big squirrel off her head, she’s out of the woods.
And the Public might want to check in with the show’s creators — Sondheim and James Lapine.
They’re being very politic, but I’ve heard they have strong reservations about the production, especially Sondheim. He’s been to several performances, but I think that’s just because he likes to tool around Central Park in his VIP golf cart.
“If this production moves to Broadway and flops, it’ll hurt the show itself for two or three years,” says a longtime producer.
Still, the Public thinks it’s got a winner on its hands.
“It must close on Sept. 1, but there is still tremendous audience demand for this production,” the press office says.
Could that be because the tickets are free?