Gazing at the cover of Jorge Bendersky’s new book “DIY Dog Grooming,” I was intimidated. Jorge displays impeccably tailored facial hair and blade tattoos. His coiffed subject looks perfectly carved from fuzzy foam. I opened the book with trepidation.
And yet, what I found inside was a wealth of practical information on brushing, bathing, trimming and dealing with problems such as skunk-stricken dogs. There’s even a section on expressing your pup’s anal glands, if you want to go there. (I don’t. I’d prefer to remain just friends with my pet and pay my vet $15 to.)
I decided to test Jorge’s guidance with my cocker spaniel, Mabel, who at this point was straggle-coated and smelled like a dusty garage oil-patch and rancid Cheetos. Following Jorge’s advice I gathered my tools — some round-nosed scissors ($20) and a pair of clippers ($60).
In a cramped New York apartment, the bathtub, for easy cleanup, felt like the best place to unleash my inner Sassoon.
Mabel looked at me accusingly as the clippers buzzed angrily over her. She wasn’t restrained, and she realized there was one corner of the tub to which she could retreat that the clippers couldn’t reach. But Jorge had encouraged me to act confidently, so I scooted her where I needed her, then proceeded to cut a first broad swath from Mabel’s coat, then another and another. It wasn’t easy.
The clipping and the bathing and drying that followed took two hours in total. After just twenty minutes I was covered in sweat and dog hair (a divine combination). But I managed it. And with more practice, I’m sure I would get faster — or delve into the more advanced practices the book covers and learn to adorn Mabel with temporary tattoos or nail polish.
Even if you’re not interested in making your pet that fab — I’m not — there’s plenty to be gained from the book, and grooming your dog yourself does save money. The initial outlay for the clippers and scissors was less than the $100 I pay to have Mabel groomed every 6-8 weeks.
In the long term, the savings would be considerable. But would I go through it again? Not quite. I might give Mabel some light trims in the future, but when it comes to a full grooming, the pet parlors of New York can still count on me as a customer.
And yet the ordeal wasn’t all bad. I spent two quality hours with my dog who, at the end of it all, somehow didn’t hate me. Shorn and dried, Mabel happily curled up in my lap, smelling spring meadow fresh. And you know what? That was pretty fabulous.
“DIY Dog Grooming” by Jorge Bendersky, Quarry Books, $19.23
PUP PRIMPING TIPS FROM “DIY DOG GROOMING”
• Use wet wipes to clean your dog’s face after a walk, or as often as possible, to remove/prevent tear stains.
• Place dry cotton balls in your dog’s ear when bathing, so the water doesn’t get in his ear canal.
• To calm your dog, blow gently on him as if whispering; talking is counterproductive when grooming.
• Only blow-dry using the lowest heat to avoid burning a dog’s sensitive skin.
• Dogs sense a human’s adrenaline through our breath; sucking on a mint can help disguise any anxiety you have while grooming your dog.
• To stop a bleeding nail, pack styptic powder or cornstarch onto the nail tip and hold a few minutes.