This was billed as the greatest protest since Occupy Wall Street. Thousands of scantily clad gay men and lesbians said they’d lock lips in a coast-to-coast red-hot make-out session.
They were to blast anti-gay-marriage comments made by Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy. But gays preferred staying home to watch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
Tumbleweeds could have rolled through the Paramus Park Mall in New Jersey yesterday as a symbol for the lack of stamina in the national kissing campaign.
VIDEO: GAY COUPLES FLOCK TO CHICK-FIL-A IN PROTEST
From Georgia to California, protests drew yawns, not saliva.
Even in Atlanta, the home of Chick-fil-A, only two dozen kissers showed up. And there was a similar lack of necking in Chicago, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and San Francisco.
At NYU, 20 people weren’t allowed in the dorm that hosts the city’s only Chick-fil-A. Just three pairs of guys kissed on the street.
In Jersey, I only found eight kissers — and two weren’t even bi!
Giggling like overaged cheerleaders, Jessi Friechter, 42, and Claudia Campagna, 51, stared into each other’s eyes. And in full view of the Chik-fil-A neon sign, the coworkers pecked each other on the cheek — handing me an iPhone to record the event.
“My husband would love this,” teased Friechter.
Nearby, an older gent who refused to give his name was freaking out.
“That’s disgusting! That’s not why I came here,” he said.
“Why don’t they go to Sbarro and do that? Why don’t they go to Subway?”
So much for the kiss-fest. It couldn’t even draw New York’s Lesbian-in-Chief Christine Quinn, who wants to boot Chick-fil-A from the city.
This aged mall of dwindling splendor, where brow threading competes with bedazzlers, was supposed to be swarmed by thousands of folks protesting Cathy’s comments: “We are very much supportive of the family — the Biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives.”
But there wasn’t enough gay outrage to draw more than one person who was actually gay.
She was Laura Fram, 34, a gay Republican vegetarian, who said Chick-fil-A was “hateful and hurtful.”
But her main problem was that she had no one to kiss.
“If you find someone for me to kiss, I’d be willing — but only a woman,” Fram said before running to pick up her daughter.
One disappointed by the smooch fiasco was Curtis Sliwa. The radio talker and Guardian Angel has been urging people to come out and eat.
“I was here to realize every male fantasy — watching lesbians kiss,” he said. “Now I get to buy a spicy chicken sandwich and waffle fries.
“I’m disappointed.”
You’re not the only one.