Let’s kick things off with this week’s Pop Quiz question, coming to us from Tim Gardenier of Rome, Ga.:
In a 1991 episode of “Seinfeld,” Kramer spots a Yankees legend at Dinky Donuts. Name the player.
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Positional battles make for great spring-training stories. They carry a naturally dramatic element, and they largely play out in public. Yet they’re important on a macro level, too, to examine what the positional battle says about the organization staging it.
So let’s take a look at the top six positional battles this spring — the last one isn’t much of a battle, but worth mentioning — and not only determine who’s winning and speculate who will prevail, but also discuss whether the sheer existence of the competition reflects positively or negatively on the team.
1. Mets first base: Ike Davis vs. Lucas Duda
Who’s winning: Haters of both. Neither candidate has played much thanks to injuries – Davis’ right calf and Duda’s left hamstring. This morning, Davis was wearing a walking boot. Yeesh.
Who will win: Josh Satin, anyone? In a vacuum, the Mets would like Davis to win, after they declined to sell him off for pennies on the dollar this past winter. But at this point, Davis seems as likely to be a DL occupant on Opening Day as he does the Opening Day first baseman. So let’s say Duda, who resumed hitting today.
Diagnosis: This contest is taking away from, rather than enhancing, the Mets’ bigger goals. Davis, thanks to injuries and underperformance, has been far more promise than production over his four big-league seasons. And that’s including his 32-homer season in 2012. This represents a headache the Mets don’t need and shouldn’t have. They should’ve dumped Davis, installed Duda as the starter and had Satin ready to go as Plan B.
2. Red Sox center fielder: Jackie Bradley Jr. vs. Grady Sizemore
Who’s winning: Sizemore. The rehabilitating veteran, who hasn’t played in a professional game of any kind since 2011 due to injuries, is enjoying a fantastic spring training. Bradley, the Red Sox’s Opening Day left fielder in 2013 who subsequently spent most of the campaign at Triple-A Pawtucket, has been terrible.
Who will win: I’m going with Bradley. The Red Sox’s optimism over Sizemore is tempered by the fact that he hasn’t yet proven he can play anywhere close to every day. And the organization is quite high on Bradley, his rough spring notwithstanding.
Diagnosis: While the Yankees’ seven-year, $153 million commitment to Jacoby Ellsbury was the most over-the-top action I’ve seen since Leslie turned herself in over a minor ethical transgression in this episode of “Parks and Recreation,” the Red Sox nevertheless took a risk by exerting so little effort (five years and $80 million) to retain their longtime center fielder. But you’ve got to take chances somewhere unless you want a Yankees- or Dodgers-esque payroll, and this seems like a worthwhile gambit for the Red Sox, giving a shot to a homegrown player and holding an intriguing retread in reserve.
3. Dodgers second base: Alex Guerrero vs. Dee Gordon
Who’s winning: Guerrero, the Cuban whom the Dodgers signed over the winter for $28 million over four years, has hit slightly better than Gordon. Of course, former Met Justin Turner has hit much better than both, though he has been deployed all over the field in the same utility role he was used in for the Mets.
Who will win: Let’s go with Guerrero, based on his upside. Gordon just hasn’t shown much in his prior three seasons as a big leaguer. It might be worth enduring the growing pains with Guerrero.
Diagnosis: The success of Yasiel Puig clearly emboldened the Dodgers regarding their projection for Cuban players, but we know Puig has often confounded his superiors, too. Guerrero had underwhelmed at the outset of spring training before a recent uptick. At the least, the Dodgers are making recently extended manager Don Mattingly earn his keep by giving him a high-talent roster that might again be high-maintenance, too.
4. Yankees fifth starter: Vidal Nuño vs. David Phelps vs. Michael Pineda vs. Adam Warren
Who’s winning: It’s awfully close, yet let’s say Phelps, who has pitched very well in three Grapefruit League starts, striking out seven and walking one in 9 2/3 innings.
Who will win: Let’s say Phelps, again. Remember, he was on the fast track in 2012 before a right forearm strain short-circuited his 2013. Warren helped last year as a long reliever, and Pineda, whose right shoulder injury has kept him from pitching for the Yankees since his January 2012 arrival (in a trade from Seattle), has been worked slowly this spring. He can continue to build up arm strength and confidence at Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre until he is needed at the big leagues.
Diagnosis: It’s healthy for even the highest-payroll clubs to leave some roster spots in play for the spring, and the Yankees have presented themselves with some interesting options rather than spend more on free agent Ervin Santana, whose long-term viability concerns them.
5. Diamondbacks closer: Addison Reed vs. J.J. Putz
Who’s winning: Reed, whom the Diamondbacks acquired from the White Sox over the winter in return for third-base prospect Matt Davidson, has significantly outpitched the (briefly) former Met Putz.
Who will win: Reed. Because he’s better, and it’s better for appearances’ sake, too, given what Arizona gave up to get him.
Diagnosis: Diamondbacks GM Kevin Towers has a longstanding reputation as a bullpen maestro, though it probably helped that he put together the Padres’ bullpens in pitcher-friendly PETCO Park. On an Arizona club that has put up consecutive 81-81 records and faces questions over its direction after last year’s controversial Justin Upton trade, a successful season by Reed — and plenty of leads to protect — would help right this ship. If Reed falters or gets injured and Davidson rakes for the White Sox, though? That would be another blight.
6. Cardinals outfielder: Oscar Tavares vs. Peter Bourjos, Matt Holliday, Allen Craig and Jon Jay
Who’s winning: The veterans. Tavares has been slowed by his recovery from last year’s right ankle surgery, which prevented him from making his major league debut in 2013.
Who will win: The veterans. The Cardinals want to publicly support Tavares’ efforts to make the club, but he’s not yet at 100 percent, and it makes more sense to play him every day at Triple-A Memphis.
Diagnosis: Just another moment in the life of a brilliantly run club. The Cardinals possess remarkable depth, given their modest payroll (a little over $100 million). At some point, a veteran outfielder will go down with an injury, and their hope is Tavares, a consensus top-five prospect in baseball, will be able to step in like so many other young Cardinals have done.
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Your Pop Quiz answer is Joe DiMaggio. If you have a tidbit that correlates baseball with popular culture, please send it to me at kdavidoff@nypost.com.