Bless his heart, Chris Russo still has a way with words. He hosts the only English-language radio show in need of English subtitles.
Tuesday, on SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio, he spoke about having watched a documentary about “the Dunns.”
The “Dunns”?
Then some clues: “The Dunns,” said Russo, were a 1951 undefeated football team that was denied bowl bids because “the Dunns” had black players, including Olympic sprinter and later NFL star Ollie Matson — who died two years ago this Wednesday, at 81.
Matson played for “the Dunns?” Wait a second … he played for the University of San Francisco. … Oh, “the Dons”! The USF Dons!
This was Russo’s version of the “Seinfeld” Bubble Boy episode, with “the Moops!”
Also, of considerable note on Mad Dog Radio, Tuesday, came loud word that SiriusXM is accepting money to air ads that stink like scamdicapper promos.
Such commercials are designed to rip off vulnerable SiriusXM subscribers with get-rich-quick “guarantees” to “break your bookie” — as if any bookmaker, legal or illegal, finds such claims to be anything more than, 1) comical, and 2) good for their business.
Tuesday, a guy allegedly named Michael Rose (many scamdicappers don’t use their real names) shouted guarantees of “70 percent winners” (if any of these guys could pick winners at even 60 percent, the last thing they would do is sell/tell you) if you call a toll free number on which his free picks are heard on tape.
Free picks from a professional tout! Can’t beat that!
But the ad was preface to one of the oldest scams in the manual. Minutes after SiriusXM carried Rose’s claim, there were no picks on that tape, just boasts of “12 straight winners” and other beckons to board his gravy train. Callers were told to press a number to get through to a rep.
And that rep didn’t have any “free winners” either. He wanted names and phone numbers. From there, the relentless hard sell begins. Standard scamdicapper boiler room stuff.
And if SiriusXM ad sales folks knew nothing about this, they do now. And Russo, for which Mad Dog Radio is named, knows such ads to be bogus — designed to fleece listeners, if not ruin them — from when they used to be heard on WFAN.
Amazin’ly misleading ad offers nothing extra
The way the Mets operate, well …
They now have an “UltiMet” come-on that encourages patrons to purchase $10 of whatever the Mets sell in-house. On the team’s website, tickets-for-sale section, we read:
“UltiMet tickets contain $10 of value that can be used for merchandise/concessions (vendors excluded) throughout Citi Field. Value is valid for day of game only.
“Please note: If you select this option, an additional $10 per ticket will be added to your shopping cart.”
So let’s see if we’ve got this straight: For an additional $10 — paid in advance — the Mets will knock off $10, provided you leave your seat to purchase something for which you’ve already paid. UltiMet! What a deal!
Regardless, let’s say you spend $140 for two tickets to a Mets home game. How much of your payment is applied to baseball — salaries, maintaining or even improving the team — and how much of it goes to washing ownership’s personal post-Madoff debts, including its recent $250 million loan?
But remember what Bernie Madoff demanded from his clients — you’re not allowed to ask any questions!
‘Iso Melo’ plan not working
In case you can’t detect how the Knicks’ one-dimensional offense, their over-reliance on Carmelo Anthony to get the ball, then shoot it — with teams over-playing him, off-the-ball movement could lead to so many give-and-go layups that Anthony could be an NBA assists NBA leader — perhaps some stats might help.
Among the top 71 field-goal-percentage leaders — that’s 71 players among 30 teams — not one Knick appears. At 44.8, Anthony is 72nd.
And at 22 per game, Anthony leads the NBA in field-goal attempts.
So, at 20-32, what does it take to switch to Plan B? Is there a Plan B?
To think how a more diversified offense would’ve, could’ve, should’ve made the Knicks a better team. But after all that “This is our year!” tough talk, they plod on, tethered to the same predictable plan, and now desperate to finish ahead of other miserable teams to even make the playoffs.
So on they go, getting the ball to Anthony then getting out of his way, even if it means being called for loitering. Pssst, fellas: The plan? It’s not working!
It’s not No Fun League for all
Perusing the highlights of that report on the Dolphins/Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin affair, how can anyone complain that the NFL is the “No Fun League.” Seems NFLers engage in all sorts of fun.
Bud Selig & Co. can’t be that upset with Alex Rodriguez, not so much that they won’t allow him to ring their cash register. All sorts of Rodriguez/Yankee jerseys and autographed stuff remain for sale through MLB.com.
According to the all-knowing and very worldly Mike Francesa – vis-à-vis Michael Sam’s declaration — people actually choose to become homosexual; they “decide.” Yeah, it’s like ordering off a menu.
How would Ralph Branca do against Ralph Kiner?
“Not too bad,” Branca said. “After I saw him hit two home runs off Erv Palica on curveballs, I never threw him a breaking pitch near the plate. Intentionally.”
Branca will Q&A after Andrew Muscato’s film about him is shown at the Yogi Berra Museum on Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. call (973) 655-2378 for details.
The Mets’ website last week highlighted a story about Bobby Parnell. The photo of Parnell, however — and nice catch by reader Mike Depaoli of Newburgh, N.Y. — was of ex-Met Brandon Lyon.
Ya think “SportsCenter” anchor John Anderson would’ve ended Thursday’s session with a put-down wisecrack about the Olympics if ESPN had the rights? Same here.
Several readers have asked a good question: Why do the media demand we be sensitive to and tolerant of Michael Sam’s sexuality, yet so many mocked Tim Tebow’s religiosity?
Among the great mysteries of life is why it’s essential to learn what Charles Barkley thinks about anything and everything.
Mere coincidence? Friday, Valentine’s Day, was when WFAN/CBS Radio chose to deliver word that New York’s most talked about couple — John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman — will be back.