Men have to be dragged kicking and screaming to the altar – whether they’re straight or gay.
Same-sex couples can begin applying for New York marriage licenses today, but don’t expect to see many gay grooms at City Hall on July 25, when they can actually start tying the knot.
That’s because in the states that have sanctioned same-sex nuptials to date, lesbians have been marrying in much greater numbers than gay men.
In Connecticut, for example, 3,252 lesbian couples have wed since 2008, when same-sex marriage was legalized, compared with just 2,053 gay guys.
“This is the way men and women have been socialized from the time we’re born,” said Stephanie Coontz, who teaches family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. “‘Go out, don’t commit too early’ . . . It’s the message all men receive.”
Even famously out actor Neil Patrick Harris is saying not so fast to a walk down the aisle.
Days after Gov. Cuomo signed same-sex marriage into law, Harris made it clear that while he and partner David Burtka are engaged, they’re not racing to the altar.
“Dear media: Just because David and I will soon be able to marry in NY, doesn’t mean we are actively planning a wedding. Cart before horse,” Harris Tweeted.
As gay marriage becomes more accessible, homosexual men will start experiencing the same pressure as heterosexual men to exchange vows, experts said.
“Gay men and lesbians who don’t marry or don’t want kids are beginning to feel the same kind of social scrutiny that straight people do,” said NYU sociologist Judith Stacey, author of “Unhitched: Love, Marriage and Family Values from West Hollywood to Western China.”
“The right to marry quickly turns into a subtle obligation to marry and greater stigma for the unmarried.”
Marital data obtained by The Post show a stark, 3-to-2 ratio of lesbian marriages, compared toall- male unions.
– Massachusetts had been the biggest state to embrace this ground-breaking civil right before New York approved it. The Bay State has sanctioned same-sex marriage since 2004 and women have dominated the rolls there too, by a margin of 8,404-to-4,911, according to the latest data.
– New Hampshire wrote gay marriage into granite in 2010 and ever since there have been 1,113 loving lesbian couples married there, compared with just 411 all-male unions.
– In the most recent data from Iowa, 1,376 lesbian have recorded marriages there and 772 couples of men have done the same.
– In Vermont, where gay marriage was been sweet as syrup since 2009, there have been 1,157 couples of lesbians to say “I do,” compared to just 597 male couples.