A gore-filled guilty pleasure receiving a token release en route to DVD, Jonathan English’s “Ironclad” is basically a sequel to Ridley Scott’s unfairly maligned “Robin Hood” with a 1215 version of “The Magnificent Seven” stepping in for Russell Crowe’s Robin.
Royally pissed that he’s been forced to sign the Magna Carta making him a figurehead, England’s Bad King John (Paul Giamatti), with the pope’s blessing, recruits thousands of Danish mercenaries to reclaim his full sovereignty.
This doesn’t sit well with Albany (Brian Cox), the burly and aging leader of the barons behind the Magna Carta.
With the support of a rebellious archbishop (Charles Dance), he recruits a deadly monk-knight (James Purefoy) and a motley collection of other ex-Crusaders, plus a doe-eyed young Elijah Wood look-alike.
Most of this surprisingly elaborate English-German co-production takes place in a splendid simulation of the strategic Rochester Castle in southern England, where the brave seven repulse several attacks by thousands of the king’s bloodthirsty mercenaries while waiting for French reinforcements to arrive.
During one of the lengthy lulls between attacks, the monk surrenders his vows to the lusty young bride (Kate Mara) of the disinterested old baron (Derek Jacobi) who lives in the castle.
Like Scott’s much more expensive movies, “Ironclad” mixes historical fact with often quite entertaining speculation (I especially liked the use of fat from living pigs as a secret weapon).
A long way from his TV portrayal of John Adams, Giamatti seems to be having an especially good time as a splenetic King John, who would not be out of place in a Monty Python movie. At one point, he orders an enemy’s hands and feet hacked off — then has what’s left of the guy hurled against the castle walls.