They’re the best and bright est of their generation. Los ers, all.
We’ve turned out a generation of pampered and privileged infants. Young ladies who’ve developed physically, but never acquired the gene for self-awareness, sacrifice or common decency.
From Caroline Giuliani to Lindsay Lohan — with Miley Cyrus and Lourdes Ciccone Leon bringing up the rear — a new wave of female has bumped up against adulthood without displaying ordinary milestones known to an underage peasant. Like responsibility, maturity and dignity.
Once, society’s role models were paragons of virtue, beauty and brains. But now that bad behavior is not just tolerated, but excused, glorified, trivialized and sexualized, little girls have no one to look up to — except a shoplifter (alleged), a drug addict and two junior hussies.
Whether vamping onstage like a baby tramp (Miley), going out dressed in mom’s castoff, crotch-hinting knickers (Lourdes), or thumbing one’s nose at the law like a brat who’s never suffered the consequences of her atrocious behavior (Caroline, Lindsay, etc.), these young women glory in low-life antics. Look at me! It’s getting worse.
When Caroline Giuliani, who at 20 is a grown-up in all 50 states, was caught gobbling up free makeup, like a pig in lipstick, her friends and enablers immediately shouted in unison: Look at her dad! (Or mom.) It’s not her fault!
“Rudy and Donna should both be ashamed of themselves for screwing up their innocent kids. It’s hard to imagine a more dysfunctional family,” one friend said.
The pal overlooked a pesky fact — Caroline isn’t a kid. After she was busted at the Upper East Sephora store, she displayed her vain priorities by staging a complete jailhouse makeover, changing her hair, makeup and wardrobe, before facing the cameras. How about an apology?
Maybe the Harvard student didn’t care that shoplifting is not a victimless crime. Stores lose money. Consumers pay higher prices. But Caroline, who had $320 in her wallet while snatching $100 worth of stuff, doesn’t have to worry about that. When she faces a judge this month, I hope her name and pedigree don’t get her a wink, a slap on the fanny, or a sentence of shopaholic rehab. Thrill-seek on your own dime, princess.
It doesn’t help the used-up train wreck Lindsay that her mother, Dina, is her fiercest competitor. Moms everywhere hid behind their remotes Friday when Dina told Matt Lauer that Lindsay’s plight was the fault of the judge and the media — everyone except Lindsay.
But Lindsay, who is taking on the film role she was born to play, as “Deep Throat” porn star Linda Lovelace, is finally playing to type. An adult with tread marks. Maybe now she’ll see there’s no one to blame.
What to do about Miley Cyrus, who turns 18 this year? In her latest appearances, she looks 40 — grinding on a pole at the Teen Choice Awards. Or caught on tape by TMZ at age 16, giving a lap dance to a film director.
“Kids look older and older,” said one nightclub denizen, who said lower-shelf clubs are more than happy to corrupt them. “Cheesy clubs let them in to get more females.”
This is good news for Madonna’s spawn, Lourdes, who at 13 is helping her mom sell a line of Macy’s tween clothes, some so revealing they would give pause to Madge’s trampy persona.
“She’s definitely a future train wreck,” said Brooklyn mom Lori Osenni.
Shut the TV. Or lock up your daughters until retirement age.
Construct-ive criticism
Queens construction worker Andy Sullivan started an online petition in which fellow hard hats vow they’ll never build the mosque near Ground Zero.
“I’m not big for boycotts,” said Andy. “I’m hoping the impact will cause the imam to see the light.”
He wants Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf to rethink plunking a 13-story cultural center and mosque two blocks from the spot where nearly 3,000 innocents were murdered in the name of radical Islam. “Can you imagine if he decides to move it a mile north?” he said. “All New Yorkers would open their arms, it would be such an act of goodwill.”
More than 100 construction workers from New Jersey to Brooklyn have pledged not to work on the building. I hope the imam listens.
Time to clean up this Mets
Mets starting pitcher Johan Santana was slapped with a civil suit by a Florida mom who claims he raped her on a golf course. Johan insists he engaged in consensual al fresco sex, yards from the spot where his wife and kids slept. Nice.
Then, Mets closer Frankie Rodriguez was charged with beating his girlfriend’s father near the players’ family room, in front of horrified kids. Revealing a classlessness I haven’t seen from this squad in years, K-Rod cursed out reporters.
Being a Mets fan is painful. But with this lack of respect for women, family and fans, it’s unbearable.
Butt-head lived out our dream
Anyone who denies daydreaming about committing this act is (A) flatlining, (B) ingesting excess Valium or (C) from Peoria.
Breffny Flynn, a big guy from the Upper West Side, was told by a smaller man that he’d have to wait “a few minutes” to cross the street as important people filmed a movie. Mistake. Breffny channeled Arnold Schwarzenegger and head-butted production assistant Steve Lafferty, drawing blood from his nose and sending him to the hospital. Breffny was charged with assault.
Earlier this summer, I was asked to remain inside my apartment building for “a few minutes” because morons decided, without warning, to shoot a TV show on the block where I live. Did I make an assistant rue his mother’s choice to give birth?
Nah. I reacted as many a cowed New Yorker does when faced with such an outrage. I shut the door and cursed (quietly). I detest violence. But Breffny’s revenge is sweet.
Oh, for pizz sake
This wacky court hearing could happen only in Brooklyn.
The owner of Grimaldi’s, the DUMBO pizzeria that’s fed Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga, clashed like a Rottweiler with his landlord. On Friday, in a scene out of “Rocky” crossed with “Revenge of the Nerds,” Dr. Mark Waxman, whose mom owns the Old Fulton Street building, tried to evict Grimaldi’s owner Frank Ciolli and his mozzarella.
“He wants to take over our store and run his own pizzeria!” Ciolli, a large and jolly 69, spat in the hallway of Brooklyn Civil Court at slim and silver-haired Waxman.
“I’m not a pizza man. I’m a gastroenterologist!” shot back Waxman, 56.
“You’ve been miserable since the day I met you!” screamed Ciolli.
“You’re a bully!” railed Waxman.
The judge ruled that Grimaldi’s stays put for now, after Ciolli pays some $60,000 in back rent, taxes and lawyer fees. The line to Grimaldi’s, typically 100 bodies long, immediately started forming.
We do things differently in the county of Kings.