What is the biggest mistake most young professional women make?
Not to be proactive, not to speak up, not to take risks. They wait to feel qualified before they volunteer for something, and they need to take some risks sometimes. There’s an interesting dynamic out there, where some women feel like it’s unflattering to want to be successful — that it’s OK to be successful, but to want to be successful is somehow not desirable. I want to tell my girls it is OK to be successful. It’s OK to be ambitious — and to want to be ambitious.
You advise women to use their sexuality in the workplace — to flirt and dress to impress. Why?
You’d be stupid not to use any assets you have. Put some effort into how you look. Don’t try to hide being a woman by dressing like a man. Mild flattery won’t make men not take you seriously, unless they weren’t inclined to take you seriously to begin with. I think women know what’s mild, harmless flirtation — but not with a boss or an underling — and what’s crossing the line.
You also say when women are faced with a decision, they tend to poll others for their opinions rather than make the decision on their own.
What advice do you have for women who are reluctant to make decisions on their own?
Research your options to arm you with as much information as possible. It’s fine to ask others to help you understand the options. Make some small decisions on your own to start. Get used to the feeling of making a decision about something small. You will develop a habit of being able to do this. For big decisions, you can ask for counsel from someone much wiser or more experienced to help you decide. But be sure they explain to you why they would decide that way, how they came to that conclusion.
You warn that multitasking is “no tasking” and unproductive. What are its greatest pitfalls, and why do you think people continue to do it?
Every time you switch tasks, you backtrack a little to remind yourself where you were. The more you switch, the more you backtrack, the more time you’ve wasted. Carve out time for thinking about projects. Don’t try to squeeze it in between e-mails and calls.
You talk about the importance of seeking out a mentor in the workplace. Do you think women don’t know to seek out mentors, or is it that they don’t know how to go about it?
The latter is probably more the case. If they’re in a male-dominated field, they might feel awkward. But if you’re in a male-dominated field, it’s just math. Look for a man, preferably one who has daughters. That’s important — he’ll see his daughter in you, and he’ll relate to you better. Seeking a mentor really must come about naturally. It can’t be forced. It has to evolve. The relationship is a two-way street.