And you thought Nik Wallenda was the only person willing to defy death just to get back on TV!
Yesterday, Southern-fried belle Paula Deen took to the “Today” show — proving she was so desperate to be back in our good graces that she even begged to be stoned to death to wash away her sins.
We can arrange that.
“Anyone out there that has never said somethin’ that they wish they could take back, please take up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me!” she drawled to an incredulous Matt Lauer.
She then upped the offer — along with the size of the stone.
“Pick up that boulder and hit me as hard as you can,” she sobbed, without running her thick mascara.
It was a true Tammy Faye Bakker moment — minus the black-stained tears.
It was Deen’s first official post-scandal sitdown — after canceling her Friday appearance on “Today.”
And Deen never veered from her talking points.
If you didn’t catch it, you’ll be relieved to know she’s not a racist, she loves everyone and it’s not her but “the young people” who work for her who are bigots.
“It’s very destructive to go into my kitchen and I hear what these young people are calling each other,” she wept. “These young people are going to have to take control and start showing respect for each other and not throw that word at each other.”
So, why didn’t she fire those young people for using that word in her kitchen?
That question remained unasked.
While Deen looks like she’s acting nuts, she’s as sly as a fox. In fact, she managed for the most part to not answer most of Lauer’s questions.
Boy, was she coached!
When he asked her about using the N-word — despite admitting in sworn testimony that she would often use it in “jokes” — she said the only time she ever used the word was “after I had a gun put to my head. A shaking gun.” As for the plantation wedding she wanted to hold with the black men dressed as slaves? It wasn’t brought up, which as far as I’m concerned is where the fat hit the fire in the first place.
I mean, who thinks like this? It’s like planning a Holocaust-themed engagement party.
But maybe it’s because, as she said, in a true Uncle Remus moment, “I is what I is.” She didn’t really say that, did she? You bet.
Deen doesn’t need to get stoned — she sounded like she already was!