THERE’S nothing like being taken for a good spin on a crisp autumn day, the kind that causes sudden and involuntary retching.
When NBC, with the NFL’s approval, two weeks ago chose tonight’s Patriots-Bills game to move from a 1 p.m. start to 8:15 p.m. – that “flex scheduling” the league sold to NBC – NBC sports master Dick Ebersol hit the spin button, and how.
No, according to Ebersol, this wasn’t merely an opportunity for NBC to have the undefeated Pats on NBC in prime time, this was his gift to the devoted and enthusiastic patrons of the Bills, who so richly deserve to have their team play on national TV in mid-November on a Sunday night.
In fact, Ebersol told the Buffalo News that right after the Nov. 5 Cowboys-Eagles NBC Sunday nighter – the Pats would have the next week off. John Madden, although it meant an arduous cross-country trip in the Madden Cruiser following last Sunday night’s NBC game in San Diego, fully approved the choice of Pats-Bills.
Well, bless his heart.
“[Madden] is not unhappy,” Ebersol told the newspaper on Nov. 6. “When the game ended last night, we met at his bus. He heartily embraced doing it. No. 1, because New England is undefeated.
“But No. 2, because you always like a strong, scrappy underdog at home. He was very much part of the process and was not in any way, shape or form reluctant, because nobody in the world loves football more than John.”
Oy.
Then Ebersol added: “And the third and magical factor in it all is the enthusiasm that Buffalo has shown toward the Bills throughout my long association with the AFC, when we had it before. I watched pretty intently the Bills game with Cincinnati as we were looking to make a decision. And it was unbelievable the enthusiasm in Ralph Wilson Stadium. It was over the top.”
Ugh. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
If only Ebersol had stopped after No. 1. Pats-Bills was chosen only because it could draw for NBC and its advertisers the largest number of viewers.
Apparently, though, Ebersol is under the impression the people who live in and around Buffalo are rubes, the kind who’d swallow such baloney.
NBC’s switch of Pats-Bills did inspire several “magical factor” e-mails to The Post from Bills patrons, none of whom swooned from or were swayed by Ebersol’s flattery.
Mike Zobel, from Rochester, wrote: “The Bills are a regional franchise that draws a significant amount of fans from Rochester and Southern Ontario. They won’t get home until 2 [o’clock], Monday morning.” He did not quite grasp how switching a 1 p.m. start to a night game serves as a “reward for providing such great atmosphere.”
Zobel might have been born at night, but not at 8:15 on a Sunday night.
Another fellow who didn’t quite parrot Ebersol’s take is Samuel M. McCune, the chief of police in Orchard Park, site of Wilson Stadium. Quoted in the Buffalo News, McCune asked, “Can we ask the network if we can decline the privilege?”
McCune added: “It’s always good for the team and the community – the Bills being put in a positive light on national TV. But night games are a bit more difficult than afternoon games for law enforcement.”
As McCune knows, and as the NFL has known since it began to schedule more and more night telecasts – er, football games – night games serve as an extra inducement for the drunk and disorderly. The family crowd, long on the fade at many teams’ afternoon games, at night is in even greater part replaced by a Manson Family crowd.
And Pats fans, as the NFL has long known, like to travel and are collectively known to be among the NFL’s most enthusiastic drinkers. But it has become difficult to distinguish one NFL team’s fan base as the drunkest, as so many seem driven to be No. 1.
Speaking of driving, today’s forecast for Buffalo is sunny and a high of 39 degrees – at 1 p.m. The forecast for the new, NBC-selected, NFL-sold 8:15 p.m. kickoff is for a high of 27. There was a 40-percent chance of snow showers last night.
That should further reduce the number of right-headed, work/school-the-next-day ticket purchasers drawn to a night game that was, until two weeks ago, scheduled to start at 1 p.m.
And if the number of drunk and sober drivers on the road, afterward, will be increased, so, too, will the chance of them driving home on roads that would have been well traveled and less likely to be icy had the game ended at 4:30 as opposed to near midnight.
But Ebersol, who could have said nothing, wants Bills’ patrons to know he thinks so much of them – reason No. 3, in fact – he has bestowed upon them an 8:15 kickoff. There’s no greater tribute to Buffalo’s wonderful fans and his own, long relationship with the AFC!
Yeah, it’s not just about trying to maximize prime-time ratings and ad revenues with a 9-0 team. Perish the thought! Ebersol the Magnificent loves you, Buffalo, and this is his gift to you!
It’s the kind of love that leaves us to again conclude that if you’re a ticket holder to any sport that has sold its authority and its sense of common decency – it’s soul – to TV, either you purchased the right to be treated like a complete fool, or you’re a born one.