NINETY-FIVE wins, the division lead since mid-May, and all the Tigers got out of it were “2006 Wild Card” T-shirts. But yesterday they came in handy for guys who, having to win one lousy game last weekend against lousy Kansas City to open the postseason at home, figured it was a lock.
“When we lost Saturday and packed just in case, I just threw something in there,” said Todd Jones. “I have my X-box, my toothbrush, the essentials, but I have no underwear.
“I’ll have to get a belt out of the clubhouse. I wasn’t even going to bring a suitcase. I wouldn’t let [attendants] take my clothes to the clubhouse. Having to walk up to the parking garage to get them was like a walk of shame.
“I pitched the eighth, ninth and 10th. When I went into the clubhouse to change, there’s plastic hanging, 200 bottles of champagne, and shirts and hats with ‘Central Division champions’ on our stools.
“Then we lost. They ripped the plastic off and, as we were walking in, they handed us ‘Wild Card’ shirts. It was worse than kissing your sister, like making out with Mom. There was no enjoyment, nothing. It was horrible.”
The Tigers, 40 games over .500 on Aug. 7 when they held a 10-game lead, flew Sunday night to New York wearing The Emperor’s Clothes, stripped naked by 31 losses in the final 50 games. Absolutely, this was the last way they wanted to go into the postseason until they had yesterday to convince themselves they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now that the list of believers has practically dwindled back down to Brandon Inge’s wife Shani, Inge likes Detroit’s chances better than ever.
“We were in a lose-lose against Kansas City,” said Inge. “We seemed uptight. I like this better.
“I think we [stink]. I think we’re the worst team in baseball.
“Today is a new season and I promise you we’re going to enjoy it.”
If you see some guys wandering Midtown today without belts, wearing the ultimate hand-me-downs – wild card T-shirts – then those would be the Tigers, once again immersed in being only two years removed from a 53-win season. Even this year, when they had the best record in baseball for three months, they didn’t hit much or play eye-opening defense. They only got a quality start practically every single night and continued even while the losses mounted.
Game 2 starter Justin Verlander, accidental postseason tourist that he is with 17 wins and a 3.63 ERA, actually was wearing one of those wild card T-shirts yesterday, as if he was still happy to be a part of this or something.
“Can’t imagine they’ll sell,” said Jones. “I’ll never wear one; would keep it though.”
Comparable artifacts can be found in cupboard drawers in Florida, Boston, and Anaheim, stacked beneath the World Championship T-shirts earned by three of the last four wild card teams, all of which beat the Yankees.
“What’s their lineup?” asked Jones.
When he was read the one that Joe Torre admitted yesterday was good enough, top to bottom, to be pulled out of a hat without much difference, Jones rolled his eyes.
“That’s cool, that’s really going to be a lot of fun,” he said. “You can’t miss a spot for five games.
“But when you go 1-5 the last week and you are up against the Yankees in the first round, you’re going to get written off. We don’t have sexy names. We got one Hall of Famer and they got like five.
“I don’t care. All I know is you all are writing about me and the Tigers in the postseason.”
Writing ill, in fact, about a team with young power arms like the 2003 Marlins, with bullpen depth comparable to the 2002 Angels, that is the nation’s darling like the 2004 Red Sox. Can’t take teams like that seriously against the Yankees, can you?