Little Jacqueline McGreevey is caught between a battling mom and dad who bicker over everything from her drop-off location and therapy fees to the church where she receives communion and whether she gets to school on time.
The 6-year-old has become a weapon and a pawn in the ugly divorce of ex-New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey and Dina Matos McGreevey.
Even while feuding with his bitter ex, Jim McGreevey realizes the emotional damage to their only child: “Your anger is not only destroying you, which is your decision, it will destroy our daughter,” he told Dina in a recent e-mail filed in court.
The parents’ rancor and stubbornness led a judge to assign a “parenting coordinator” to help hash out the logistics of Jacqueline’s living arrangements.
Her main home is her mom’s modest Springfield, NJ, ranch – where, as Jim notes, Dina spent $127,0000 on renovations, including a “luxury bathroom.”
She visits her dad’s home, a Plainfield, NJ, mansion owned by his partner, Wall Street financier Mark O’Donnell, staying overnight once a week and alternate weekends. O’Donnell provides her health insurance.
Jacqueline has a bedroom in their home decorated in “little-girl themes” and a playroom with Barbies. Jim taught her to swim in the backyard pool.
Her dad takes her to an Episcopalian church. But her mom, who is raising Jacqueline a Catholic, demanded she not receive communion with him.
Jim complains that Dina questions Jacqueline on her visits with him to “glean some fact she can use against me.” This “always upsets” his daughter, he says. During one overnight stay, Dina called Jacqueline seven times. When the girl called her mom, she was “subjected to an intense grilling,” Jim griped. “I have noticed that recently
she shows reticence in coming to my home,” he said. “However, once she is at my home, she has a wonderful time.”
Dina complains that Jim shortchanges Jacqueline. He pays $24,000 a year in child support for his older daughter, Morag, from his first marriage – almost twice as much as the $13,000 he pays for Jacqueline.
Jim also confirmed spending $1,600 a month on his own psychiatrist – $471 more than his monthly child-support payments for Jacqueline.
The McGreeveys argued over how to split the $45 co-pay for Jacqueline’s sessions with a shrink, and whether Jim should return Jacqueline to Dina’s home instead of handing her over at a nearby bookstore.
Jim blasted Dina when he learned that Jacqueline had arrived late to school (usually by five minutes) 59 times and was absent 22 days – sometimes because Jim took Jacqueline on trips.
The hostility peaked this month as the McGreeveys went to court over Jim planning a 6th-birthday party for Jacqueline at his home.
“This is another example of your need for control,” Dina e-mailed Jim, accusing him of breaking a rule against one parent having the girl three weekends in a row. She told him “not to bother” inviting her or her relatives.
Solomon-like judge Karen Cassidy OK’d the party but ordered Jim to return Jacqueline to Dina that night. As police patrolled the neighborhood, the ex-governor greeted about 20 of his daughter’s classmates and their parents as they arrived for the bash.
“It’s hugely traumatizing when a child feels the parents are at war with each other,” said Dr. Sylvia Welsh, a Manhattan child psychologist. “War demands you choose a side, and the child feels a constant sense of guilt.”
Additional reporting by