‘WHO do I have to f – – – around here to get re-elected?” That’s the question – though it’s not asked exactly that way – in David Mamet’s “November,” starring Nathan Lane as a potty-mouthed president.
He speaks the language for which Mamet is famed. And infamous.
“What I assume is an elderly woman wrote, ‘Perhaps you should rename your play ‘F – – – ,’ since you say it so much,’ ” Lane says.
“She might have done a little research, found out that David Mamet occasionally uses profanities,” he adds, dryly. “It’s meant to be funny – if you have a sense of humor! There’s always ‘The Little Mermaid!’ ”
Looking very “Guys and Dolls” the other day in a pinstriped suit, Lane has only nice things to say about “November,” the political satire that opens tonight.
It’s his first Mamet, he says over a preshow supper of soup and Diet Coke, though the Pulitzer Prize winner has offered him parts before – one in drag.
“I think it was the woman Kate Burton played – we’re often up for the same role,” Lane quips.
But when “November” came along, it was love at first read.
“I said I’d do it, and David called and left a message saying, ‘I’m so relieved I finally met with your approval,’ ” Lane says, laughing.
“Part of the fun of it is the notion of a president sitting in the Oval Office sounding a little like Tony Soprano. He also has some of the charm of Tony Soprano – he has people killed.”
As the floundering, foul-mouthed president, Charles Smith, Lane’s dialogue flows so freely you’d think the 51-year-old had written it himself. But no.
“Every ‘but’ and ‘uh-uh-uh’ is written by Mr. Mamet,” he says. “It’s very carefully put together.”
So is Lane’s performance. Laurie Metcalf, the “Roseanne” star who plays Smith’s harried speechwriter, calls him “the total professional.”
“He doesn’t get as much credit as he should because he makes it look so easy,” she says. “I feel so proud to be onstage with him, because he gives 150 percent every goddamned show.”
Even that wasn’t enough for “The Odd Couple.” The 2005 revival, which reunited Lane and Matthew Broderick after their red-hot “Producers” run, got skewered.
It also sold $21 million in tickets before the first preview.
“It just made me nauseous,” Lane confesses (of the ticket sales, not the play). “I thought, ‘Well, that’s a lot of pressure!’
“It seemed it was all about money, and we couldn’t overcome that. Maybe we should have done that thing where we switched parts back and forth” – playing Oscar one night, Felix the other. “But it was hard enough rehearsing one version!”
For now, he’s happy, especially for someone who grew up poor in Jersey City and didn’t finish college (“My brother, a teacher, said I could take a year off, and I went into show business, and that was that”).
He’s also trying not to read anything written about him.
“Years ago, I was working with Bette Midler and told her I’d read a review. She said, ‘What are you, an idiot? Don’t read that crap!’ ”
Still, he’s not above reciting, with relish, one old assessment of him – as “an irrepressible actor who should be forcibly repressed.”
As if.
Nathan’s campaign guide
IN David Mamet’s satire “November,” Nathan Lane plays President Charles Smith, a man whose numbers are “lower than Gandhi’s cholesterol.”
In real life, Lane says, we have better choices, though he thinks the election process goes on far too long.
“People are acting as if we’ve just had the election, and we’re just in the caucuses!” the actor says. “At this point, you want some people to be winnowed away.”
Here’s Nathan Lane’s take on a few major players:
Dennis Kucinich: “Poor Dennis Kucinich – at least he has a hot wife to comfort him in these troubled times.”
Mike Huckabee: “He’s smart, he’s articulate, he has a sense of humor – which is rare in a Republican. You could do worse!”
Mitt Romney: “It’s time for him and his big hair to go home.”
Hillary Clinton: “She’s in a difficult position . . . If she appears too tough, she’s cold and indifferent, or a bitch; if she seems vulnerable, [people say] we need someone stronger. But everyone’s overanalyzed ’cause there’s nothing else to talk about!”