AN anti-date movie if there ever was one, “Teeth” is a darkly engaging if uneven horror movie spoof centering on men’s fear of castration.
Jess Weixler – who won an acting award at last year’s Sundance Film Festival – does a great job playing Dawn, a perpetually upbeat poster girl for chastity at her high school. Everything is fine until she goes swimming with a fellow chastity pledge (Hale Appleman), who loses his resolve – and his penis – after he’s overcome by hormones and attempts to have his way with the unwilling Dawn.
A terrified Dawn flees and is horrified to learn he’s the victim of her vagina dentata – a mythical condition in which her vagina is equipped with sharklike teeth.
Her gynecologist (Josh Pais) loses several fingers in the process of confirming this discovery. Could her ailment have something to do with growing up next to a nuclear power plant?
Whatever the cause, it gives a whole new meaning to “safe sex” when Dawn decides to risk intercourse with the seemingly nice Ryan (Ashley Springer) in the hope it will cure her condition.
Debuting director Mitchell (son of Roy) Litchtenstein creates a lot of dread but not a consistent tone.
The graphic, Troma-grade special effects sometimes undercut Weixler’s serious performance. The movie doesn’t turn truly (if darkly) funny until the final half-hour, when a newly empowered Dawn decides to get some payback with her sleazy stepbrother (John Hensley).
A tattooed punk, his life was already changed by a childhood encounter with Dawn – and a gross-out scene involving them both and a dog is not for the faint of heart. Teenage boys may not find “Teeth,” which is being given a token release, all that hilarious. But we’ll be seeing more of Jess Weixler.
TEETH
Watch out, boys!
Running time: 93 minutes. Rated R (sex, violence, profanity, drugs). At the Village East, Second Avenue and 12th Street.