PHOENIX – Before launching today’s Scuds. I wish to apologize, sincerely, for anything embarrassing or illegal Selena Roberts may dig up from the past, and for anything I may get caught doing this weekend double-dating with Charles Barkley.
I read Abe Lincoln turned 200 yesterday. So, in other words, he was around when baseball was clean and the Knicks did more for their fans than just entertain them.
It’s a shame the team had to shut down for the All-Star break when it’s finishing games (six consecutive losses, allowing nearly 121 points per) like the Bushes closed out presidencies.
Timing is everything,
But let’s table the Knicks for a few days. After all, there figures to be one or two more opportunities after the break to give Donnie Walsh, Mike D’Antoni, a vigilant clipboard brigade and a pack of players who can win it for both sides if they play long enough, constructive deep tissue massages.
Besides, today being Friday the 13th offers too much of an open net . . . even for me.
With the 58th All-Star Game being held in this city – the third one I’m covering here since switching full-time assignments from the ABA to the NBA in 1974 – there’s a certain sense of symmetry. Probably because this is the last time this season the Valley of the Sun is going to be in the consciousness of the caring populace and its national TV tributaries.
What in the name of Bayard Forrest has happened to this once-proud franchise? Since Steve Nash re-enlisted for the 2004-05 season, the Stylistics have been among the league elite, competing for conference championships and enthralling the masses with flash and dash.
Dubious radical surgery over the last 12 months (and a week; Feb. 6, 2007) in addition to the dreadful business practice of selling and surrendering draft picks in order to unload salary and thus avoid the luxury tax, has ruined the mix, suctioned the good karma from every nook and cranny and transformed the Suns into just another group grope . . . with more divisive alteration on tap.
Entering league recess, the Shadows are 28-23; eight games off last season’s pace when, rather than try to fix what was broken, the decision makers – Robert Sarver, Steve Kerr, D’Antoni, VP David Griffin and Nash – imploded the infrastructure. In a critically condemned transplant (well, by at least one anonymous columnist, anyway), vital organ Shawn Marion was replaced by Shaquille O’Neal.
When that extreme mutation was rejected by the leftover parts – failing to get past the Spurs in the first round – D’Antoni was first into the lifeboat. When Boris Diaw and Raja Bell fought fitting into Terry Porter’s red-light offensive system, they were exchanged for Jason Richardson . . . and then the Shadows had no semblance of a lock-down defensive player.
Next, in all likelihood, as Sarver seeks financial relief, Amare Stoudemire will be traded before Thursday’s deadline . . . for a voluptuous expiring contract, no doubt, and a promising youngster or two.
It says here, the Cavaliers, Lakers and Heat are the lone teams who should seriously consider obtaining Stoudemire’s sub-standard services. Sunday’s All-Star start is a gift from an adoring, oblivious public. He’d have no problem deferring to LeBron James, Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade because their areas of expertise don’t conflict with his, and they’re genuine franchise players . . . whereas he pretends to be.
Last I looked, Stoudemire hasn’t exactly proved capable of carrying an affluent team to ultimate glory.
Judging by what the Cavs have to offer – as mentioned, expiring contracts and talented youngbloods – and Kerr’s connection and affection for Danny Ferry – I’m guessing it’ll be Kevin McHale-Danny Ainge revisited . . . unless L.A. makes Lamar Odom available.
Meanwhile, according to a Phoenix source, Porter will be replaced by Kerr, who recently completed a crash correspondence coaching course taught by McHale and Tony DiLeo.
Makes sense to me. I don’t know if it’s the philosophy or the Philistines, but it ain’t working. Having last missed the playoffs since D’Antoni succeeded Frank Johnson 21 games into the ’03-’04 season, the Shadows (with or without Stoudemire) are very much in danger of achieving lottery discredit.
“They’re on the outside looking in,” John McCain said, “Just like me strolling along Pennsylvania Avenue.”
Ninth in the West, a game behind Utah, and already having lost 10 home games – one fewer than last season – who knows, it just might be time for Kerr to see what he can extract from the overhauled assembly.
Never a team with much depth, Phoenix has aged . . . and not gracefully. At 17.3 points and 8.9 rebounds, Shaq is either the team’s first, second, third or fourth option, depending on O’Neal’s demands and how much Stoudemire sulks. Nash offers sporadic brilliance: Sunday at Detroit, 21 assists, two turnovers; the previous three games were a combined 26 and 13.
Sadly, I’m fast running out of excuses to visit the Marriott Camelback Inn. Thankfully, I still have Turf Paradise’s Cotton Fitzsimmons Mile to look forward to next Jaunary.
This just in from column contributor Frank Drucker: Named All-Star weekend’s social director, Barkley is writing, directing and starring in a new play . . . A Street Corner Named Desire.