NOT a native New Yorker? Not to worry -there are ways to fake it. Here are some strategies for carrying yourself like a child of the five boroughs. And we also suggest boning up on NYC lingo and history. Like any successful performance, yours will be judged on how well you master the details:
When walking along the street, do not ever look up. For one, the tall buildings aren’t impressive – you’ve seen them all your life. Also, you never know when some dog droppings or other nasty surprise will appear in your path, so best to keep a downward gaze. Always keep a pace that implies you are 30 minutes late for an appointment, and say “Excuse me” in a tone that actually means “Get out of my way.”
When hunger strikes and you stop for pizza, keep vocabulary in mind. A “pie” is made up of “slices.” You grab a “slice” on your way home from the bar but order a few “pies” if you’re watching the Giants game with friends. Always preface your order with “lemmegetta,” as in, “lemmegetta a slice.” There is no need to specify plain cheese. That’s what it means when you order a “slice.”
Avoid Times Square at all costs, except to see a Broadway show. In that case there is no need to line up an hour early and fight your way into the theater. While all the tourists stand “in line” to see “Gypsy” – which they already have tickets for! With assigned seats! – you can coolly wait with your friend, finishing your coffee and cigarette, wondering why the hell all these rubes are standing “on line” for the theater.
Have your MetroCard at the ready when you reach the turnstile. Don’t start fumbling for it while a line forms behind you. Stand precisely where the doors to the train will open, but wait for others to exit before boarding. The car you pick should let you out closest to the station exit when you arrive at your destination. Put your backpack between your legs when standing on a crowded train, and don’t call a train by its color. That’s the 6, not the “green line.”
When you hear someone mention his childhood phone number started with a 212, don’t assume he grew up in Manhattan. Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island didn’t go 718 until 1984, and The Bronx held out until 1992.