I ADMIT it. At times this job has become so easy a caveman could do it.
For example, years ago, when I was angling to write about TV and/or radio absurdities, it could take three, four days to gather the goods.
Today? Same day delivery. Cake walk, can of corn.
Take Sunday. In the morning, on ESPN Radio, host John Kincade delivered a lengthy sermon on how and why whatever you might hear or read about the NFL Draft, no one knows what they’re talking/writing about. Until the picks are actually made, Kincade concluded, it’s all an overstuffed baloney sandwich to be taken with several grains of salt.
And when Kincade finally finished, he was on to the next order of business: This Saturday, he reminded listeners, is when ESPN Radio’s fabulous five-hour NFL Draft preview show will air, ESPN draft experts included! Yep, you don’t want to miss it!
Sunday afternoon on WCBS Radio, John Sterling, into the seventh inning of the Yankees-Orioles, four times had launched his “It is high! . . . It is far! . . .” home run call. And not until he pulled it out a fifth time was a home run actually hit. In a game that included one home run, Sterling, in service to his relentless self-promotion, called five of them. Nothing can stop him.
But that the “Voice of the New York Yankees” may be the worst broadcaster in professional sports has been a 20-year absurdity. That he would continually deprive a radio-reliant audience of accurate descriptions – not to mention creating the false hope of Yankee homers hit so high and so far that they’re caught for outs – while continually suffering the embarrassment of his selfish and dishonest devices, reveals a man so stuck on himself that we all get stuck.
The logical notion that Sterling would grow weary of making a jerk of himself is no longer a logical consideration.
Sunday night, ESPN had Mets-Phils. That means Joe Morgan. That means authoritative nonsense. Morgan explained that Carlos Delgado’s offense, last season, suffered due to a broken hand. Left unsaid, and likely unknown by Morgan, was that Delgado’s hand was broken when he was hit by a pitch – in the last game of the season!
And while ESPN execs bristle at criticism that the network’s purpose has little to do with sports and almost everything to do with exploiting sports to sell ESPN/Disney goods, you be the judge:
At 5-4, Phils, top of the eighth, a designed-to-distract insert appeared along the bottom of the screen. It read, “Program Alert: SportsCenter is coming up next.”
And then that insert began to crawl. “SportsCenter is coming up next. SportsCenter is coming up next. SportsCenter is coming up next . . .” That exact message was repeated, non-stop and no fooling, 20 times! It was as if ESPN endeavored to annoy, as if it suddenly decided, late in a tight game, to present a spoiled brat doing an “I want that” chant in Toys ‘r Us.
In the bottom of the eighth, play-by-player Jon Miller was forced to tell us that SportsCenter is coming up next. He spoke during the appearance of a large graphic that read, “SportsCenter is coming up next.”
In the top of the ninth, ESPN again inserted its crawl that brought word – again, 20 consecutive times – that, “SportsCenter is coming up next.”
By then, those who had resolved to watch anything – anything – other than SportsCenter, might have after the game landed on Mike Francesa’s Sunday night show on Ch. 4. On it, Francesa explained the Yanks’ sluggish start as reflective of a tough early schedule; with almost no days off for three weeks the Yanks were disadvantaged.
That’s funny, a couple of years ago, when a caller to WFAN suggested that the Red Sox, burdened by a schedule that provided no days off for month, were at a disadvantage, Francesa abused the poor guy as a know-nothing, a bad excuse artist.
(Shortly after that caller was ridiculed and then dumped, Joe Torre’s regular session with Francesa and Chris Russo began. When Torre volunteered that the Red Sox’s schedule put them at a disadvantage, Francesa said nothing.)
I admit it. Sunday was just too easy.
Monday? Well, during Mets-Cubs on ESPN, a crawl at the bottom of the screen carried the first-round NFL Draft picks as touted by ESPN’s Mel Kiper, Jr.