IF you were ever called into the principal’s office, just remembering it may cause you to break out in fear and loathing.
And – worse – if your principal was allowed to whack you in the rear with a paddle every time you misbehaved (in which case, you were either living with the Taliban or in Arkansas), this is not the show for you.
Finding out what goes on behind closed doors in the principal’s office is the whole idea behind truTV’s new reality show, called – of course – “The Principal’s Office.”
The principals featured on the first two episodes are Eric Sheninger of New Milford High, NJ, Jessie Ballenger of Danbury High, Ct., and Steve Halter of Booneville High, Ark., the school where the primitive punitive paddle still exists. No wonder Bill Clinton was the governor!
First, class, let me explain that which needs no explanation: This ain’t no “Gossip Girl” or “Friday Night Lights” or even “Welcome Back Kotter.” For one thing, real life rarely features perfectly sculpted, perfectly gorgeous teens having sex with other perfectly perfects spouting bon mots. In real life, all kids just aren’t gorgeous, articulate, hilarious and brilliantly manipulative.
In fact, the teens roaming the halls of the various high schools featured tend to be overweight, slovenly, dull as dirt, and dim-witted to boot. On good days.
Aside from learning that paddle-whacking still exists, the rest of the show is as dull and dimwitted as the students. For instance, one segment is called “Big Daddy Phlegm” and it’s about a fat kid who smokes and coughs up phlegm in Principal Ballenger’s office. Now that’s entertainment!
Other exciting interludes include Principal Halter telling kids, that “if you’re all in agreeance” he’ll start the paddle whacking (which we only hear and don’t see). Call me strict, but he needs to be paddled just for his bad grammar!
The real problem with “Principal’s Office,” however, is that a camera crew in a school just begs for kids to act out so they, too, can be a reality show star for a minute. That won’t happen here because these brats aren’t bright enough to star in anything but their own home videos. Get the hook – if not the paddle!
“The Principal’s Office”