THE laughs begin with the ex cellent title “Hamlet 2” – and they end there. This film was the comedy sensation of the Sundance Film Festival, which was an early warning sign.
Steve Coogan “stars” – or rather, makes silly faces and falls down frequently – as a high-school theater teacher in Tucson, Ariz., who, with a cast of surly teens, writes a sequel to “Hamlet” in an effort to save the drama department. The always-abrasive Catherine Keener plays his abrasive girlfriend abrasively, and David Arquette, as their roommate, literally sits off to the side doing and saying nothing. This is the kind of movie in which someone has a silly name, so others mispronounce it in half a dozen scenes.
Coogan, of whom I was a big fan until now, is often spotted on roller skates sporting a haircut reminiscent of Danny Bonaduce in “The Partridge Family.” He mugs and vamps and capers as if he’s been told, “Do it like Martin Short, only not as subtle.”
I laughed zero times at “Hamlet 2,” which is aimed at campy men and the women who find them hys.TER.Ical. It would be right at home in a 75-seat off-off-Broadway theater in the West Village, and may win over the same crowd that deems “Waiting for Guffman” a classic.
I am not fond of listening to characters scream unfunny lines meant to send up the blandness of everyday people. So Coogan, whose Dana Marschz is the only character who even registers, says things like, “I need a quesedilla. Immediamente.” And ” ‘Toaster’ is street for ‘gun.’ What a colorful expression!” And “Mango iced tea is my kryptonite.”
Dana has a beef with the harsh local drama critic, who turns out to be a little kid, but the movie does nothing with this idea except to have the kid talk like an adult. Elisabeth Shue checks in as herself, but the movie gives her nothing to do except what everyone does – which is to stand off to the side and watch Coogan. She has never been funny before and isn’t about to start now.
There’s a long, long sequence in which a chorus of gay men sings “Maniac,” which could have been funny if it had run 10 seconds instead of several minutes. Then there’s another long, long sequence in which the same men sing “Someone Saved My Life Tonight,” which is as redundant as Richard Simmons in drag.
The big number of Dana’s show, “Rock Me Sexy Jesus,” is at least 30 years too late to offend anyone (it would be far more irreverent to mock St. Barack Obama). But if you can’t wait to hear Amy Poehler, as an ACLU lawyer, announce that her name is Cricket Feldstein, then by all means, buy your tickets now!
HAMLET 2
Less funny than the original.
Running time: 94 minutes. Rated R (profanity, drug references, brief nudity). At the Lincoln Square, the Empire, the Sunshine, others.