WELCOME to another NFL season of having complete nonsense disseminated with complete conviction.
Perhaps the one thing that stat-afflicted football broadcasters don’t and will never understand is that there are no “averages” worth citing. When 22 men interact at once under wildly varying circumstances and conditions, there is no average play; “average” only can create a misleading impression or butcher reality.
For example, in the third quarter of Thursday’s Skins-Giants game, NBC posted a bunch of stats, including those attached to Brandon Jacobs – 14 carries, 93 yards, 6.6 yards per carry. Al Michaels was impressed with the last one. “Jacobs is averaging a stellar 6.6,” he said.
But hadn’t he watched the game? Jacobs, at that point, had runs of 25, 17 and 16 yards; 58 of his 93 yards came on three of those 14 carries, meaning he had a total of 35 yards on his other nine carries. There was no “average” worth mentioning.
Jacobs finished with 116 yards on 21 carries, an average of 5.5 per carry. This week some paid football expert (or 10) surely will take these stats, note that Jacobs averaged 5.5 yards per then firmly state that if the Giants hand the ball to Jacobs 20 or more times they’ll win. It’s that simple.
Patient: “Doc, you gotta help me. One second I have a temperature of 103, the next second it’s 93!”
Doctor: “What are you worried about? That’s an average of 98.”
CBS’s Gary Danielson and Phil Simms remain among the very few TV analysts who ignore or debunk – as opposed to parrot – misleading or irrelevant stats. Both rely on their eyes to tell them the story, not a stat sheet.
On QB passing ratings, the kind TV presents as telling (despite the fact Marc Bulger and Trent Green are listed as top 10 career passers, 100 places ahead of Joe Namath and Terry Bradshaw), Danielson, the ex-Lions’ and Browns’ QB, says, “When I’m asked how good a quarterback is, I say, ‘Just watch ’em play, you’ll know.’ ”
Danielson, by the way, is ranked 65th, ahead of 10 Hall of Famers.
There was a frightening incident before Aug. 26’s Mets-Phils game. A child, about 10-12 years old, fell head-first from the lower right field deck after reaching for a ball hit in batting practice. Naturally, the kid landed hard. Stunned, he rose, then, clearly in pain, he leaned and nearly collapsed against Mike Pelfrey who had been shagging flies.
The child, though bruised, eventually was OK.
Video of the episode appeared on the Web site of ESPN’s Philadelphia radio station. It appeared under the heading “950 ESPN Fun Stuff.”
Speaking of sports radio and the desensitization process . . .
Though NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has called upon both players and fans to observe new codes of conduct to restore some civility to the “NFL Experience,” Wednesday he went on WFAN with Craig Carton, professional social vandal.
Of course, Carton was on his best behavior, very respectful. Carton, the first-class phony, even congratulated Goodell for attempting to curb anti-social behavior among players.
Thursday night’s Yanks-Rays 81/2-inning game ran 3 hours, 20 minutes, which is the kind of game that Michael Kay for years condemned for having been too slowly played, as “unmanageable.” But suddenly Kay not only endorses such games, he claims that those who can’t devote 3:30 to a game have something wrong with them.
Gordon Damer has left ESPN 1050 to provide sports reports for WCBS-AM. . . . WFAN’s Ed Randall, prostate cancer survivor and co-founder of Bat For The Cure, last week led a drive before the Jays-Rays game for free PSA testing. More than 400 men were tested.
CBS, today, has Jim Nantz and Simms on Jets-Dolphins. Also at 1 p.m., Fox has Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston and on-field intruder Tony Siragusa on Rams-Eagles. At 4:15 Joe Buck and Troy Aikman work Fox’s Browns-Cowboys.
Thus far, SNY, Rutgers Football’s new channel, has done a good job avoiding talk of the hidden-from-taxpayers payments and perks to head coach Greg Schiano, not to mention other ugly revelations about RU’s football finances that made very big news in New Jersey newspapers.
John McCain‘s acceptance speech, Thursday night – “I don’t work for a party. I don’t work for a special interest. I don’t work for myself” – sounded as if it had been lifted from that Giuseppe Franco commercial.