Entertainment

LIFE’S A BITCH . . .

THE CW is fixated on the rich. First, there was “Gossip Girl,” set in the wealthiest enclaves of Manhattan; then “90210,” set in Beverly Hills.

Now there’s “Privileged,” which is set in Palm Beach, Fla. What’s next for the fortune-hunting mini-network – Dubai?

Well, maybe – but only if the tiny but wealthy Arab emirate possesses a population of spoiled, petulant teens the network can exploit for a TV show.

In “Privileged,” you’ll meet The CW’s newest crop of well-bred but indolent young people – mainly, twin sisters named Sage (Ashley Newbrough) and Rose (played by Lucy Hale, who’s a dead ringer for Mila Kunis).

They’re billion-heiresses who are so shiftless, they might not get accepted at Duke! Or, at least that’s the fear of their adoptive grandmother, socialite/philanthropist Laurel Limoges, played by Anne Archer.

Yes, CW fans, that’s the conflict at the heart of “Privileged”: Whether or not these two rich girls get into one of the nation’s finest universities.

To make this situation even more preposterous, Sage and Rose are not only behind in their studies, they don’t even attend school, which can be a real deal-breaker when it comes to college admissions.

To help Sage and Rose overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of a higher education, Grandma hires a young out-of-work Yalie named Megan (JoAnna Garcia) to be their tutor.

It’s a thankless job, on par with being hired to do this series.

Over the course of tonight’s premiere episode, we learn that perky Megan has higher aspirations than playing Mary Poppins to a pair of teenaged brats. And yet, she stays with her new job because Granny Limoges promises to pay off her college loans.

Plus, Megan reasons, if she sticks around long enough, she might make some connections among the Palm Beach elite that will aid her in achieving her real ambition, which is to be a writer of works of real significance, such as a biography of Hillary Clinton. (Yes, the poor girl actually aspires to this; she says so earlier in the episode.)

Like the other CW shows about the rich and the not-so-rich who want to be like them, “Privileged” plays like an exercise in fantasy fulfillment for the CW’s youngish audience.

In the CW’s world, happiness is rubbing elbows with the rich and fabulous, and drawing the attention of various rich boys, while a soundtrack of chick-friendly pop tunes plays constantly in the background.

If this sounds like happiness to you, then by all means feel free to join this “Privileged” class. You have nothing to waste but your time.

“Privileged”