HAVING absolutely no head for finance, most of the business- speak on tomorrow’s premiere of “Shark Tank” left me dazed and confused (not hard to do, believe me).
But Mark Burnett’s newest plunge into the reality waters — somewhat predictable, with all the requisite reality bells and whistles (lots of dark blue mood lighting, dramatic music, quick-cut editing) — is mildly entertaining in that summer TV kind of way. “Shark” lacks bite — but is a tepid enough diversion if you’re willing to wade into the water.
The “Shark Tank” setup finds five “powerful, self-made investors” sitting in judgment of young entrepreneurs who stand before them in an “Apprentice“-type boardroom, which they enter through a corridor flanked by video screens of circling sharks.
The entrepreneurs’ goal is to convince all or some of the Fearsome Fivesome to invest in their fledgling concerns.
The investors — Kevin O’Leary (financial expert), Barbara Corcoran (real estate tycoon), Kevin Harrington (infomercial king), Daymond John (founder of Fubu clothing) and Robert Herjavec (technology innovator) — quiz the entrepreneurs, sometimes pointedly, on their business plans. They then bicker amongst themselves and either pass, accept or, in some cases, make a counter-offer.
Tomorrow’s premiere features four individual entrepreneurs, and a team of two. Some of their requests for funding are realistic, like that of Tod Wilson — who wants $460,000 for his growing Somerset, NJ homemade pie business in exchange for a 10 percent stake in the company.
Then there’s creepy Darrin Johnson, who’s seeking $1 million for his “implantable Bluetooth technology,” which is exactly what it sounds like (a Bluetooth mobile device surgically implanted under a person’s earlobe). “You’re freaking me out!” says John — a huge understatement.
There isn’t much action here, and the sniping between the judges — none of whom particularly stand out — seems contrived to drum up what little drama exists on “Shark Tank,” which borrows heavily from the aforementioned “Apprentice” in tone and visual style.
Let the viewer beware — this is a risky time investment.