Entertainment

Stud finder

First there was “Hercules Unchained,”now there’s Spartacus unclothed.

And when that real-life, first-century slave-turned-rebel leader is not very graphically doing the nudie nasty in the new Starz series “Spartacus: Blood and Sand,” he’s very graphically chopping people’s legs off, taking out their eyes and severing their heads.

Yes, I’m talking about that Spartacus, the Thracian slave who really lived and who, in 73 AD Rome, led a slave uprising that grew into an insurgency of more than 120,000 slaves, which flourished until they were defeated and killed off.

You know that ain’t ever gonna happen to old Sparty in this crazy, insanely violent and nearly pornographic series from Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert — who brought us “Xena: Warrior Princess” — and Steven S. DeKnight, who brought the world young Superman in “Smallville.”

Think of this series as “Bigville” — or at least “Big Budgetville.”

Here, Spartacus, played by Australian actor Andy Whitfield, is torn from his homeland and separated from his juicy wife Sura (Erin Cummings) when both are sold into slavery.

However, since Spartacus has a fantastic six pack (more like an entire case, thanks to CGI body-enhancement therapy), he’s made into a reluctant gladiator.

Sura, whose boobs are too big to show her ribs, is sold to a Syrian slave owner, and, well, you know those Syrian slave owners — it’s just sex, sex, sex with those guys.

Spartacus gets a full-ride scholarship to gladiator school, which is owned by Batiatus (John Hannah) and his wife Lucretia, who happens to be played by Lucy Lawless (“Xena: Warrior Princess“), who happens not to be married to Batiatus in real life, but to Rob Tapert, the producer.

That said, everyone’s favorite Warrior Princess is hardly recognizable here. She is dressed in such a giant red wig, she looks like Xena: Warrior Clown.

I don’t mean to imply that this horribly violent (and it is the most violent show on legit TV), sexually explicit (and it is the most sexually explicit show I’ve ever seen on legit TV) series isn’t a hoot and a half.

It is trashy fun as Spartacus, who is not really that interested in overthrowing oppressive Roman rule right now as he is in getting his sexed-up wife back, fights his way up gladiator rankings and out.

If this isn’t your cup of blood, give it a shot anyway.

Call up a friend who spends all their free time watching violent martial arts movies, and stop taking yourself so seriously.

The real Spartacus must be spinning on his cross.