Morena Baccarin (ABC)
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‘V” — the series with more predictability than punch — returns tonight for Season 2. And, like its ratings last year, the series once again has a hard time getting off the ground.
And, for a series about aliens who travel bazillions of light years to get here, the least we earthlings should be able to do is to get this thing airborne — right?
Clearly, the series ought to be one of the biggest hits on TV because, on paper at least, it has it all: Good-looking, demographically-correct humans, supermodel-looking aliens, great special effects and a big budget. So, what’s wrong? I’m glad you asked.
After watching the first three episodes from the upcoming season, and then re-watching a bunch from last season, it finally became clear: While the show is interesting and well-acted, ultimately, it lacks shock and awe. In fact, “V” is often like a sci-fi show hidden inside a standard-issue soap — albeit one with bleeding, red skies and lizard men from outer space.
It’s got cliffhanger episode endings, quick scenes that close with someone looking surprised, devious or bewildered, several intertwining stories that tug at your heartstrings, young love that just can’t be and gorgeous bad guys galore. Only difference is that in “V,” the villains showed up in a spaceship instead of a fancy car.
And that brings up a bigger problem — I wish there were more scary monsters. Here, the aliens have grown human skin so they can pass — but for what, Angelina Jolie?
I mean, seriously, if you are a bunch of aliens trying to blend in, wouldn’t more of you look like, say, Andy Richter and fewer of you look like George Clooney?
That aside, “V” is still quite watchable, and if you’re a fan who’s been waiting for the series to return, you’ll be rewarded by what the “Visitors” really want from us. And yes, it’s exactly what you think they wanted. The plot’s as old as a 1950s “B” movie. There’s even mention of, I swear, the “A” bomb. All that’s missing is a 50-foot woman.
Oh wait — never mind. Every time alien queen Anna (the impossibly gorgeous Morena Baccarin), wants to speak to the earthlings, she does show up in the sky like a 50-foot woman. Tragically, it’s hard to take her seriously, especially if you’ve ever seen Woody Allen’s “New York Stories.” She’s like the mother in that movie who shows up as the giant face complaining from the sky.
You will also find out this season what the red rain is supposed to do, and see the meeting between Anna and her mother — who actually whines like the mother in “New York Stories.” “Fifteen years and not a single sight of you,” she scolds.
Damn! I hate a kvetching alien.