TAMPA — Thank goodness that famous wordsmith, Hank Steinbrenner, came by yesterday to correct the sloppy word usage the previous day of a guy named Hank Steinbrenner.
You see on Monday, in blasting the 2010 Yankees for over-celebrating their 2009 title, Steinbrenner explained that some players were “too busy building mansions.”
With Derek Jeter the only Yankees player famously known for constructing a mansion — the 31,000 square-footer completed in January has such local notoriety it has been derisively dubbed St. Jetersburg — the belief was Steinbrenner was directing a broadside at the shortstop, by George.
Alas, the Alistair Cooke of the Yankees returned yesterday to say he was misinterpreted. He didn’t mean Jeter at all. Steinbrenner explained that “too busy building mansions” was a “euphemism” to describe other pinstriped slackers. In fact, Steinbrenner mulled a whole collection of “euphemisms” that had absolutely, positively nothing to do with Jeter, including, “The 2010 Yankees were:
* “Too busy doing Gatorade commercials.”
* “Too busy dating actresses from ‘Friday Night Lights.'”
* “Too busy running the Turn 2 Foundation.”
For his part, Jeter handled this issue brilliantly. He said his name was never directly mentioned. He said he had no problems with Steinbrenner. He actually seemed bemused, smiling throughout an interview.
And why not? This was trifling to Jeter. He was not going engage in a public tiff against a lightweight. Not when he has had to duel heavyweights, including a fellow named George Steinbrenner.
After the 2002 season, George assailed Jeter, and not with “euphemisms,” but by name to say the shortstop was late-night partying too much. The detente included a famous Visa commercial. And, well, Hank isn’t significant enough to even get himself and Jeter a Snuggy infomercial.
Look, Hank tried the big-boy pants for a while after the 2007 season and initially liked the attention of being the public voice of a baseball behemoth. What he did not foresee was that public accountability comes with issuing bold statements from the mantle of Yankees ownership.
Hank was unprepared for that return fire of rebuke and sarcasm, and rather quickly retreated from the limelight. His more cautious, shrewd, ego-restrained brother, Hal, took over in a younger brother/older brother dynamic not that different from Michael Corleone and Fredo — sans the rowboat.
Keep in mind the Steinbrenner children, including Hank, unanimously named Hal the managing general partner, with Hank famously telling friends he stepped aside because: “My brother has the head for this.”
The Yankees have mostly been a well-run, reasoned organization with Hal overseeing the empire and Hank a figurehead. Hank has a general partner title. But his most valuable title had been silent partner.
Hank seems like a rather benign fellow, and the past two days of public feistiness also reflect an uncharacteristically dull Yankees camp, to date. Bored reporters found Hank and Hank lost his mute button.
Yesterday, while stating this was not about Jeter, he again questioned Yankees hunger in 2010. Asked how a 95-win team that reached ALCS Game 6 could lack hunger, Hank rambled about the toughness of the AL East, which is like being asked about Middle East unrest and responding with a cheesecake recipe.
He again stated anger that some players are richer than their owners, claiming that is because of revenue sharing; a connection that makes less sense than Carrot Top and Brooklyn Decker. He also again attacked revenue sharing by saying if small-market teams can’t exist without financial aid, maybe there should only be big markets and, well, good luck with that third club in the New York area, Hank, or a six-team sport.
It was all dopey, uninformed and forgettable, except Bud Selig was compelled to call Hal Steinbrenner yesterday to remind the Yankees a gag order remains on team officials discussing revenue sharing. Look, the Yankees have some problems, notably age in key places and the lack of quality in the rotation. They do not need Hank Steinbrenner unplugged to complicate matters.
This is a particularly low time for sports ownership in the New York area. The Wilpons are clinging to the Mets. James Dolan’s love connection with Isiah Thomas caroms between creepy and inexplicable. Mikhail Prokhorov is having trouble with stars and the truth.
Hank Steinbrenner’s 2011 goal should be to stay out of sentences with those guys. He should remember the Yankees work best when he channels his inner Salinger. That is a euphemism for shut up.