First, a consumer warning: The ubiquitous Natalie Portman, who gets third billing for her third release this year (she has two more next month), does not show up until the second half of this slack assemblage of genre spoofs, penis jokes, reefer gags and gay-panic humor aimed at 12-year-old boys of all ages.
Nor does Portman play the title role in “Your Highness,” shared by Danny McBride and erstwhile Oscar nominee/host James Franco as princely brothers in the Middle Ages who like to get high and, uh, pleasure themselves when they’re not battling dragons or rescuing fair maidens.
Franco is Fabious, the better-looking, braver heir to the throne. McBride (who co-wrote the script, as he did for “The Foot Fist Way”) is Thadeous, a portly, slovenly coward — first seen facing the gallows when he’s caught seducing the queen of the dwarves.
Fabious is newly affianced to the virginal Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), recently saved from an evil magician (Justin Thereoux) who held her captive since childhood. When the magician abducts her back, the king dragoons a reluctant Thadeous to accompany his older sibling on a quest to rescue his bride-to-be.
Accompanied by a retinue that includes Thadeous’ mincing manservant (Rasmus Hardiker) and an even more flamboyant royal courtier (Toby Jones) with his own agenda, they set out on a journey that feels like it takes several centuries.
The first stop is at the home of a wizard who speaks in a Michael Jackson-like falsetto. He offers the brothers some tokes on his hookah and invites Fabious to jump on his bed.
The stars appear to be enjoying themselves, even when they’re recycling groaners that Mel Brooks could barely get away with back in the ’80s. (Fabious: “Come be gay with me and father!” Thadeous: “But I don’t want to be gay!”).
When Portman finally shows up as Isabel, a warrior on her own quest, she appears to be parodying her super-serious performance in the second “Star Wars” trilogy.
At the screening I attended, there was much speculation about whether she employed a body double for a heavily CGI’d rear shot wearing nothing but a thong. (My guess: without a doubt.)
This is a nod to “Excalibur,” one of the better-known sword-and-sorcery epics referenced by director David Gordon Green (the far funnier “Pineapple Express”), who will bring a smile to fans of such mercifully forgotten efforts as “Ladyhawke” and “Dragonslayer.”
“Your Highness” refuses to take itself seriously, which is both boring and sort of charming to a limited extent. When somebody says, “The quest sucks,” I was inclined to agree.
Someone watching this at home with chemical assistance might well beg to differ. Others might be better off with “The Princess Bride.”