Cruise ships are like cars or houses. They may all perform the same basic function, but there’s no such thing as a home or a set of wheels that’s right for everyone. If you don’t like the idea of cruising, it’s probably because you figure that there isn’t a ship — or an itinerary — that’s right for you. How wrong you are. May we?
#1 YOU LIKE CLASSY BUT YOU AREN’T RICH
CELEBRITY SILHOUETTE
This stylish (-ish) line’s Solstice class of ships are easily some of the easiest on the eyes at sea right now, with muted, spa-like decor and sophisticated touches everywhere. The newest member of the class, Silhouette, features cool stuff like rental cabanas up on the top-deck Lawn Club (it’s a lawn, for real). Also: The nightly show isn’t just another Broadway show tunes remix, but rather a Cirque-esque display of acrobatics.
Good deal A 12-night Caribbean cruise RT out of New York (well, Bayonne, ugh, but still, beats a flight to Florida) starts at $899 per person on the Dec. 12 departure.
Info celebritycruises.com
#2 YOU’D RATHER BE AT THE FOUR SEASONS
SEABOURN CRUISE LINES
A cruise with Seabourn isn’t like other cruises — think of it more as a five-star hotel that floats. Seriously, this is not a stretch, particularly if you hop on board the Seabourn Quest, the newest addition to the fleet, for a total of six ships. Service is usually stellar, the food and drink are, well, just better. Itineraries are less than traditional and the ships, which max out at 225 suites, are big enough for you to not get bored, but never too big so as to overwhelm. Not recommended for people who ever want to be happy on another line, ever again. That’s a joke. Sort of.
Good to know For even more personal service, check out the line’s original trio of yachts, which carry just 200 or so passengers, max.
Info seabourn.com
#3 WHEN SMALL ISN’T SMALL ENOUGH
AQUA EXPEDITIONS
This winter, get up close and personal with the Peruvian Amazon, aboard this small luxury adventure travel company’s two chic ships — Aqua and Aria — which carry just 24 and 32 passengers, respectively. Itineraries of 3, 5 and 7 nights are available, meaning you don’t have to spend your entire vacation on a boat; after all, there’s plenty else in Peru to see. All tours take you inside the vast Pacaya Samiria Reserve, where you can really get up close and personal with one of the wildest places in the world. And a boa constrictor or two, maybe.
The fine print Sailing with these guys isn’t cheap — $2,500 per person for a 3-nighter — but you get what you pay for, unlike some hotels in Cuzco / Machu Picchu we won’t mention. For instance.
Info aquaexpeditions.com
#4 SO YOU’RE TERRIFIED THE KIDS WILL BE BORED
ROYAL CARIBBEAN ALLURE OF THE SEAS
You have to be some kind of jerk to not be at least a tiny bit impressed by the Allure and its sister ship Oasis, the two biggest things afloat, the first cruise ships that are honest-to-God big enough that you could get totally lost for days. Perfect for kids of all ages, there are 25 dining options, tons of shopping and entertainment, a zip line, surf simulators and a classic carousel. The list goes on. Forever. Seriously — being bored on here is your own fault.
Hot tip For being so revolutionary and all, prices sure can be affordable — particularly on Allure’s sister ship, Oasis, which is just as amazing, if a tiny bit less shiny and new. For example, a 7-night Western Caribbean itinerary out of Florida on Oasis starts at $799 in 2012, versus $899 on Allure.
Info royalcaribbean.com
#5 IT’S NOT THE CARIBBEAN YOU HATE, IT’S THE CROWDS
SEADREAM
Hosting just 112 guests apiece, the twin yachts — SeaDream I and SeaDream II — comprising this small-small ship line are a huge favorite with the sort of people who think Seabourn has lost its way with those new big ships and their 225 staterooms. Sail like a tycoon, noodling your way around bays and coves and into ports most Carnival cruisers will never see; the crew-passenger ratio is almost 1:1, meaning you can pretty much expect whatever you want, whenever you want it, from caviar service up on deck to loaded iPods to 24-hour room service, all included in your rate.
Crazy deal 63 percent off the brochure rate when you book a 6-nighter out of San Juan departing Dec. 11 or 17; the discounted fare is $2,399 per person.
Info seadream.com
#6 YOU WOULD RATHER BE IN PARIS
UNIWORLD BARONESS
A week in Paris to do the Christmas shopping, cozy nights in a charming little boutique hotel, great meals, good conversation — who isn’t so there, right? Try it a little differently this time; book an 8-day itinerary on this extremely smart little river cruise boat and not only will you get to hang in Paris for a while (but come home at day’s end to the ship and its English-speaking staff and your handsomely appointed stateroom), you’ll also cruise up to ancient Rouen in Normandy, site of a very popular Christmas Market. (Yes, there will be cider.)
Good value Rates from $1,999 departing Paris Dec. 13 and 20; $2,199 on Dec. 27.
Info uniworld.com
Some more trips to consider:
So you’ve never cruised, and you’ll try it. Once. As long as the destination’s interesting. Solution: A cruise up China’s Yangtze River with Viking (vikingrivercruises.com).
Antarctica — sounds fun, but aren’t those ships kind of rustic? Not really. And certainly not Silversea‘s Explorer, a luxe small ship with a taste for adventure (silversea.com).
What about the Galapagos Islands? No problem — the Celebrity Xpedition is the one you want (celebritycruises.com).