MLB

Sorry, Mets: No toys under the tree this year

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why, Sandy’s Mets are coming to town.

Sandy Alderson and his elves, John Ricco, Paul DePodesta, and J.P. Ricciardi, have been busy trying to put together the best team money can’t buy. Despite all their extra efforts, the gifts under the tree for Mets’ fans and Terry Collins this year are not going to be any of your favorite toys.

Sure, Sandy’s workshop at the North Pole was able to secure a $40 million “bridge loan,’’ but none of that is being spent on the gift cards of players. That money is earmarked to pay off bond interest on that new fancy sleigh, so Mets fans are going to have to survive with their old toys and hope the broken ones like Johan Santana and Daniel Murphy can be fixed well enough to last another year, and that those toys acquired in Dallas that the other kids didn’t want, are really fun to play with in 2012.

Welcome to Citi Field, the Isle of Misfit Toys.

Maybe next year you should write a letter to Fred, Jeff and Saul, the money men behind Sandy, and tell them you will be extra good, go to more games, spend more money and go to sleep with visions of SNY in your head. Until then, you are just going to have to make the best of it and enjoy the new cut-rate bullpen, the anniversary celebrations and that really neat Tom Seaver Bobblehead.

These are difficult times all over and even the kids of that super-rich family in The Bronx are not getting all the presents they wanted this year … for a change.

Those kids are just going to have to hope all that money that was spent on those really expensive toys like A-Rod, Derek, CC and A.J. in past years are enough to get the Yankees their second world championship in four years.

You will have to be happy with two titles, the last one coming when your daddy was just a little kid, a quarter of a century ago.

What’s that you say? You just got a text from your Angelic cousins in Southern California. They have sunshine, a new superstar and a new left-handed pitcher. Well, don’t pay attention to any of that. Every family has a crazy uncle and Uncle Arte went absolutely bonkers this year spending all that money on that new kid Albert. He should be ashamed of himself.

As for Murphy — wonderfully playing the role of Santa Claus yesterday at the Mets’ annual holiday party at Citi Field and having a great time with all the young fans — he did tell Alderson that Santa has a nice little gift for him.

“Santa’s got a box of chocolates for Sandy this year,’’ Murphy exclaimed when the Mets general manager walked past. It was as if Santa Murphy was calling to his reindeer: “On Comet! On Dasher! On Donder and Blitzen!’’

Those chocolates should have been sent to Jose Reyes along with about $100 million, but someone must have switched the name tags. The Mets can no longer play in the same financial league as the big, bad Miami Marlins who have two superstar shortstops in Jose and Hanley Ramirez.

Don’t be so greedy, Mets fans. You have a fine young shortstop in Ruben Tejada and a pitching staff loaded with so many starters that Sandy said yesterday it might be hard to fit another one in, although who knows if Johan will be ready. You have David Wright (for a while), Ike Davis, Lucas Duda, Josh Thole and Jason Bay. And Jason really, really promises to have a much better season this year.

Santa did not have to get David or Jason any gifts because Sandy got them exactly what they wanted. He brought in the fences for them.

Yes, Mets’ fans, there is a Sandy Claus … Not believe in Sandy Claus! You might as well not believe in Sabermetrics!