A struggling economy. Cash shortfalls at City Hall, in Albany and Washington. A turbulent Mideast. A fateful US presidential election.
The coming year is shaping up to be absolutely . . . unpredictable.
Then again, there are at least a few headlines we can be sure we won’t see in the coming year:
* The winner of the 2012 presidential race will be . . . Michael Bloomberg.
* Former Brooklyn Rep. Anthony Weiner will discover . . . pants.
* Occupy Wall Street protesters will get real occupations.
* Former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn will wed Manhattan chambermaid Nafissatou Diallo at the Sofitel hotel.
* Having sworn off Twitter, Alec Baldwin will never be heard from again.
* The Associated Press will praise the NYPD for following anti-terror leads to Muslim communities, even when politically incorrect, and thwarting potential terrorist attacks.
* The teachers union will draft charter-school operator Eva Moskowitz as its president.
* The Mets will sell out every single seat at Citi Field long before the baseball season starts.
* City Comptroller John Liu will take on a second role — as head of the city’s Campaign Finance Board.
* Thanks to meaningful taxi reform, at last, no one will ever again have trouble hailing a cab in the city.
* Gov. Cuomo will again vow not to raise taxes — but this time mean it.
* President Obama will scold folks who use class warfare to divide the nation.
* LIRR disability pay will be limited to only those of its workers who actually have disabilities.
* All remaining work at Ground Zero will be completed, ahead of schedule and under-budget. With the billions left over, the Port Authority will lower tolls at its bridges and tunnels.
* Washington will pass a massive bipartisan stimulus package — and the economy will rapidly improve.
* With US troops gone, Iraq will become the world’s top tourist destination.
* Egged on by The New York Times, Cuomo will provide economic help to Upstaters — by quickly lifting the ban on natural-gas fracking.
* Indicted former state Sen. Pedro Espada will be named New York City police commissioner.
* Under Obama’s leadership, America will once again take a lead role in shaping world events.
* A cooperative effort by every nation will result in lower worldwide temperatures — reversing global warming.
* Public employees in New York will lose their outdated, costly guaranteed-benefit pension plans and instead get 401k-style plans — just like other working stiffs.
* America’s national debt will decline precipitously.
* Construction of a replacement span for the Tappan Zee Bridge will begin, just as Cuomo promised.
* The Arab Spring will end with full-fledged democracy throughout the Middle East, universal goodwill, religious tolerance, equal rights for women and peaceful relations with Israel.
* Unable to match the gruesome exploits of his dear dad, newly installed North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will abdicate, paving the way for the peninsula’s reunification.
* In his final two years in office, Bloomberg will discover that the city has, uh, rather high taxes — and move quickly to lower them.
* Electric cars will eliminate America’s reliance on foreign oil, once and for all.
* Europe, with Greece leading the way, will live within its means.
* Pundits will swear off dumb predictions — for good.
Happy New Year!