Entertainment

It’s crystal clear

As New Yorkers stumble from holiday stupors toward grand plans for the new year, it would be handy to know what delights, disasters and A-list baby bumps will befall the world in 2012. So The Post asked renowned psychics, mediums and astrologers-to-the-stars to gaze into their crystal balls and share their predictions for the coming year. “The year 2012 will not be all the doom and gloom as some may think and predict,” assures spiritual medium Joseph Tittel. “It is for sure not the year the world will end. But it is a year of upheaval and chaos in many ways. For there to be positive change, we sometimes have to experience the worst first.”

Hold onto your hats and grab your umbrellas (more on that later) — sounds like the next 363 days are going to be quite the adventure!

CELEBRITIES

What’s that sound George Clooney keeps hearing in 2012? The pitter-patter of the handsomest little feet on the planet? Despite insisting for decades that he has no interest in parenthood, “This year it will be announced that George Clooney will become a father!” raves mentalist Sidney Friedman.

Wedding bells will finally peal for Jennifer Aniston, who will become engaged in late 2012 or early 2013, Friedman portends. (Perhaps to Justin Theroux, making Jennistin officially legal and Brangelina officially jelly.)

As for the Kardashian clan, Friedman sees one of those crazy K-kids taking a tumble. “A Kardashian will collapse, but all will be fine,” he predicts. (We’re going to presume this fall will take place in either a wedding chapel or divorce court.)

And poor Lady O — Oprah that is. Both Friedman and Tittel say 2012 won’t be one of the star’s favorite things, owing to plummeting ratings for her OWN network. “Oprah undergoes a large amount of stress and ends up with the blues, due to the drop in her network,” Tittel says, adding that changes at the channel lead to improvements by summer.

There’s also drama on the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie front lines — and it’s not good, according to Tittel and psychic Frank Andrews. “They’re in the news for something not so positive, unfortunately,” says Tittel. “This could revolve around one of the kids . . . surrounding an accident or illness perhaps. Everything works out well for the family afterwards, and overall, it’s a good year for them.”

He predicts a big move for Brangelina sometime in 2012. (May we suggest the Taj Mahal, to make room for their ever-expanding brood?) Andrews believes the couple will stay together publicly, but will spend 2012 living separate private lives.

POLITICS

Three out of three future-tellers agree that Mitt Romney will snag the Republican presidential nomination, while President Barack Obama will ultimately hang on to the Oval Office for another four years.

“Obama will be re-elected, period,” says mentalist Sidney Friedman. “This is not a political statement, just what I foresee. [He] will not win states like Indiana, which he won last time, but he will win two Southern states, including North Carolina or Virginia. Also, Mitt Romney will not win his home state of Massachusetts.”

Psychic Frank Andrews predicts that American stock markets will skyrocket this year, as opposed to European stocks, which will continue to falter. “That’s going to make Obama win the election,” he explains. “People don’t want to vote for him, but they’re going to vote for what they think is the lesser of two evils.”

Tittel sees a vision of Obama waving out of a hospital window, giving a thumbs up. “So something is going to occur in early 2012 that sends the president to the hospital,” Tittel explains, adding that everything turns out fine and the incident becomes fodder for a controversial “Saturday Night Live” sketch. (Here’s hoping it doesn’t involve Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake singing about Bam in a box.)

THE OSCARS

Who’s going to bring home a golden, shirtless, muscle-bound man from the 2012 Academy Awards (Besides Andy Cohen)?

“For the first time since 1987, Woody Allen wins Best Original Screenplay Oscar for ‘Midnight in Paris,’ ” predicts Friedman. “And Octavia Spencer wins Best Supporting Actress Oscar for ‘The Help,’ ” he adds.

Andrews sees Steven Spielberg “walking away with a couple of awards, and George Clooney, too.”

SPORTS

Worshippers of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow might want to take a knee for this next prediction. “My vision deems his magic will wear off,” says Friedman. “Some fans may start calling him ‘Teblow.’ In comparison to top quarterbacks

of the league, he will be a notch or two below them.”

Friedman also predicts “a rash of injuries in the NBA, far more than normal, and especially eye injuries” in 2012. (Hopefully, none of them are blinded by new Kardashian wedding bling.)

The future is much more promising for players in pinstripes. “I feel that the Yankees will rise up this year,” says Andrews, who was particularly struck by this vision as he doesn’t follow sports. “They’re going to prove to everyone, ‘We’re OK, and we’re back in the saddle.’ ”

MUSIC

Baby, baby, baby, oh no! Word on the psychic street is that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez will each find somebody (else) to love in 2012. (Cue shrieking Beliebers everywhere.) “I don’t think they’re going to make it, I doubt it very much,” Andrews predicts.

Tittel also predicts that Elton John will make two huge announcements. “One will be positive, involving a new album or tour,” he says, while “The other will be not very good news.” (Fingers crossed it involves “Words With Friends” and an airport brawl with Alec Baldwin.)

Very good news, however, is on the way for the formidable former “American Idol” star Ruben Studdard, who will make a huge comeback with his most successful album and single to date, according to Friedman.

Sadly, Tittel says, “Aretha Franklin has a rough year in 2012 when it comes to her health. She’ll have to make some big decisions and may undergo surgery. She needs to be careful of infections. She may also end up losing [even more] weight, and it won’t be by choice.”

DISASTERS: NATURAL AND OTHERWISE

Friedman predicts that “an unusual bug is found in Brooklyn” sometime this year. (On the upside, the bug will probably wear adorkable glasses, drink PBR and play the ukulele.) As if New Yorkers didn’t have enough to stress about for 2012!

Break out the raincoats and galoshes, Gotham. Our psychics unanimously call for heavy rain in the 2012 forecast. “Snow was big news last year in New York City,” says Friedman. “This year it’s water!”

Tittel, too, predicts downpours from sea to shining sea. “Rains fall like never before causing major floods and issues with rivers overflowing and water levees breaking,” he says, explaining that during a meditation on the new year, he saw the headline “Storm of the Century,” involving many states and possibly even several countries.

In ominous travel omens, Tittel predicts more than one tunnel collapsing, most likely in California, possibly caused by mudslides. And he sees a major Asian train derailment hitting headlines. “I believe this happens in China or Japan,” he says, noting that it will somehow involve the number 101.

Friedman cautions that Iceland could once again see prominent volcanic activity, while a large flaming meteor heading toward Earth will crash into an ocean, according to Tittel. (No comment on whether that meteor is named Charlie Sheen.)


THE PSYCHICS

FRANK ANDREWS:

The former Post astrology columnist is a New York psychic, and has delivered readings to clients like Princess Grace, John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Andrews declines to reveal the names of his current A-list clientele, but is so revered in otherworldly circles that Andy Warhol once painted his portrait (although, he says, Warhol was far too nervous to sit for his own reading).

Sidney Friedman

Sidney Friedman (
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Joseph Tittel

Joseph Tittel (
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SIDNEY FRIEDMAN:

Mentalist Sidney Friedman, author of “Your Mind Knows More Than You Do — The Subconscious Secrets of Success,” has given readings to Star Jones and reported his eerily accurate predictions on “The View” and the “Today” show. sidneyfriedman.com

JOSEPH TITTEL:

Spiritual medium Joseph Tittel hosts the Philadelphia radio show “Messages From the Other Side,” which is also the title of his book. He’s been featured on the Lifetime series “America’s Psychic Challenge.” josephtittel.com