If you have an insatiable appetite for awkward moments then this was for you.
If you are drawn to the theater of the absurd like a shopaholic bargain hunter to a flea market you might have forked over a hefty admission fee to be at yesterday’s gala announcement at MetLife Stadium that WrestleMania XXIX will take place there in April 7, 2013.
First, let us begin with the awkward.
Jets owner Woody Johnson, forever in pursuit of that coveted title that coach Rex Ryan keeps guaranteeing to bring home, finally got his championship bling.
As part of the choreographed festivities, WWE star “Triple H’’ presented the Jets owner with his own WWE championship belt, resplendent with a lot of sparkle and a spinning WWE logo on the front of it.
It wasn’t exactly Roger Goodell carefully presenting Johnson the Vince Lombardi Trophy as if he were handing over a newborn infant. There was no confetti raining from the sky, and no parade through the Canyon of Heroes is being planned.
Oh yes, Giants co-owner John Mara got a belt of his own, too.
Of course, the understated Mara, who looked like he rather would have been attending a tax audit than be a part of this festival of flash, didn’t need any more bling.
Because the most important bauble of all — the second Lombardi Trophy his Giants have won as Super Bowl champions in four years — sits in the lobby of his Giants offices, which stand about four football fields away from MetLife Stadium across the parking lots.
When the formal part of the show, which included appearances by WWE chairman Vince McMahon and some of his star wrestlers such as “The Rock’’ and “Triple H,’’ Mara and Johnson were out of there so fast they might have had jet packs on and lifted off right from the mezzanine club seating level where the carnival took place.
Neither owner, both of whom disappeared behind a black curtain to the side of the makeshift stage, was anywhere to be found seconds after the press conference was over.
Johnson, still stinging from his team’s messy meltdown out of playoff contention at the end of the season, surely wanted to slink out of there as fast as possible.
As for Mara, a stay-in-the-background guy anyway, this was anything but his scene.
But the two owners, who are rivals, also are equal partners in the stadium and this WrestleMania thing could draw some 90,000 fans, a record attendance for their $1.6 billion stadium.
That means big-time revenue for the two football franchises that have been unable to sell out their expensive luxury suites because of the high prices of PSLs coupled with the poor economy.
So it behooved them to show their faces at yesterday’s schmoozefest despite how awkward and uncomfortable it might have been for both of them — particularly as they held arms skyward with “Triple H’’ with their faux championship belts slung over their shoulders in an awkward photo-op moment.
Mara’s Giants in the Super Bowl was Johnson’s worst nightmare, particularly because it was the Giants, not his Jets, who knocked off the hated Patriots.
This was not lost on Jets guard Matt Slauson, who was in attendance along with teammates Muhammad Wilkerson, Kyle Wilson and Donald Strickland.
“Obviously, when you’ve got your cross-town rival and your division rivals both playing in the coveted game that’s tough to watch,’’ Slauson said.
McMahon called the 2013 WrestleMania “an extraordinary event, something you’ve never witnessed before,’’ adding that people will be coming from all over the glove to “witness the splendor, grandeur and majesty of WrestleMania.’’
All the while, Johnson and Mara sat quietly side-by-side in the front row watching.
Dwayne “The Rock’’ Johnson then took the stage and made a couple of Rex Ryan guarantees. The first: “I will electrify MetLife Stadium like it’s never been electrified before.’’ Then: “I will run for President … and I will win.’’
The only thing missing was Ryan and Giants running back Brandon Jacobs wearing their wrestling tights ready to rock the canvas.
That would have provided an awkward moment capper to the carnival.