Entertainment

Creep show

Is it possible that ABC dislikes women as much as Bravo?

While that seems impossible, given all the hideous, plastic-surgery addicts and desperately unlovable freaks Bravo calls “real” “Housewives,” it’s becoming clear that ABC is doing to women in scripted shows what Bravo does in their “unscripted” lineup.

Think “Man Up,” “Work It” and “Last Man Standing” — ABC shows about men trying to survive in a bitch-eat-man world.

Tomorrow night, in an attempt to replace “Desperate Housewives” as the go-to bitch spot, ABC brings us, “GCB” (from “Good Christian Bitches,” a novel by Kim Gatlin).

A formerly mean girl in high school, Amanada Vaughn (Leslie Bibb) — whose husband, a Bernie Madoff Ponzi schemer (not that again!) died in a car crash while getting oral sex from his mistress — has left her and her two kids broke.

What’s a girl to do? Why, move back home with her mother, Annie Potts, to her old Texas hometown! (Yes, that again.)

Unfortunately, all the girls Amanda was mean to in school have grown into sexy, mean Christian housewives.

And not one of them — played by Kristen Chenoweth, Marisol Nichols, Miriam Schor and Jennifer Aspen — has a Christian bone in their cosmetically altered bodies. They all quote scripture in every situation, including sex. Yes, creepy.

Since they are Good Christian Bitches who regularly attend church, it gives the show ample opportunity to have Chenoweth break out in big choral numbers (here we go with that again).

What’s mostly wrong with this new series is that it doesn’t know who in God’s name it is.

Is it a comedy? (Not really). A musical? (Definitely not). A satire? (On what?) Or a morality tale?

What’s right here, however, is the casting, particularly Potts, who shines above the rest, and the always-good Chenoweth and her always glorious singing voice.

But “GCB” still doesn’t work. For example, the only good person in the series is the former mean girl, Amanda. What? Does marriage to a Ponzi scammer transform you?

Of course, a girl should choose her battles, and Amanda’s newfound goodness makes her take on the good fight at the “Boobylicious” restaurant where she now works (every woman who is related to a Ponzi scammer on TV works as a waitress), defending the waitresses right to wear skimpy uniforms! She not just wins the fight, but gets them to put “My Cup Runneth Over” on the backs of the uniform’s skin-tight wife- beater tops.

Gloria Steinem would be so proud.