Entertainment

‘Iliad’ doesn’t hit a Homer-run

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Tony winners Stephen Spinella (left) and Denis O’Hare alternate as stars of this clunky one-man take on Homer’s epic. (Joan Marcus (2))

Chicken or fish? Leno or Conan? Rent or buy? Decisions, decisions.

Theatergoers are facing an equally tough choice with “An Iliad,” a new one-man show that features two men.

Depending on the performance you attend, Denis O’Hare or Stephen Spinella plays an unnamed Poet delivering a 100-minute monologue based on Homer’s epic saga.

Of course, you can decide to see both, for a special combo price of $100. But let’s face it: Despite a narrative filled with sound and fury, the play isn’t gripping enough to warrant a repeat viewing.

No matter whom you choose, you’ll get more out of the meandering show if you’re familiar with the basic plot points of the Trojan War, especially the parts concerning Achilles and Hector. To prep, you can read Homer’s 16,000-line original poem — or watch Brad Pitt run around the movie “Troy” in a leather miniskirt. Yet another hard decision.

Split casting itself isn’t new. As feuding brothers in the 2000 Broadway revival of “True West,” Philip Seymour Hoffman and John C. Reilly switched roles every night.

But it’s rare to see a pair invite such a brutal head-to-head comparison. Each delivers the same script alone on stage, with minimal props, a similar — but not identical — loose-fitting costume, and no set to speak of. The only diversion is the spare, atmospheric accompaniment by stand-up bassist Brian Ellingsen, who’s perched on an elevated catwalk.

Both actors are stage vets with Tonys to prove it — O’Hare for “Take Me Out,” Spinella for “Angels in America.”

Of the two, I preferred O’Hare, who also adapted the source material with director Lisa Peterson.

Famous for freaky parts in TV’s “True Blood” and “American Horror Story,” the actor looks as ordinary as an accountant. But he can whip himself into a ferocious frenzy when describing the insanity of war, and finds a desperate humor in the worst events.

The dignified, bearded Spinella looks more like the haunted bard of clichédom. But he often has an impish editorial distance toward the Poet’s account of brave warriors, meddling gods and a never-ending siege. You always see the Acting, capital A, underlined by wink-wink nods to the audience.

No matter who’s at the helm, the show is too formless, and is as well-meaning as it is heavy-handed, as when the Poet compares the Greeks being shipped off to war to young American recruits.

Perhaps “An Iliad” should have been “The Iliad” — it’s Homer who comes out on top.