I’m dating a guy who moved to NYC three months ago. I’m having a great time seeing the city for the first time through his eyes, but playing tour guide is starting to drag. Sometimes it feels like because I know which way is uptown and where to get the best slice, maybe he’s using me for my Big Apple know-how. How can I get him to take initiative? Also, how do I know if the relationship has potential or will be chucked once he learns the subway system?
Michelle, Brooklyn
OK, girls way over-think things! While I understand your concerns, the guy probably doesn’t feel comfortable picking a place when you know the city inside and out.
If you do want him to take initiative, give him a reason to. Say that you’re swamped at work and you need him to plan the next date. See what he comes up with. If he’s struggling, give the poor fella some guidance — suggest a type of cuisine you’d like to try or a specific neighborhood that would work for you. But if he really likes you, then he will take control — with or without your help. If he doesn’t, well, then, he’s not the guy for you and on to the next!
I know it’s hard once you’ve already set a precedent for being the “planner,” but if you are indeed enjoying seeing the city “for the first time through his eyes,” then just enjoy it! Don’t back off because you think as a guy he “should” be making the plans. In the end, you could have a great thing here, and no one is sabotaging it but you.
I lasered my pubic hair last year. It worked, but I still need maintenance so I’ve been shaving. Do you have any tips for avoiding razor burn and for a longer lasting cheap remedy?
Joann, Harlem
Yeah, I don’t think laser ever works 100 percent. It takes a lot of visits for you to really start noticing a difference. Shaving is fine so long as you have the right products and proper routine. Get yourself a nice loofa mitt, Dove soap (the original), two shaving gels: Skintimate Skin Therapy Gel with vitamin E (dry skin, pink bottle) and Aveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel with oatmeal (baby blue bottle). Use one for a week, then switch to the other for another week and see which one works best for your skin.
Then, pick up a bottle of baby oil (from Johnson & Johnson) and the original Lubriderm lotion (the one that DOESN’T say fragrance-free on it). And, last but not least, get the mack daddy of razors, the Mach 3 Turbo Razor with refill blades (make sure the blades are Mach 3 Turbo).
Now, before you do anything, wait as long as it takes for those razor bumps you already have to go away. If you shave over them, you’ll only irritate the area further.
Once your skin is better, take a shower and lather the loofa mitt with the dove soap, and exfoliate your entire body, being a little more gentle down there because you don’t want to break the skin.
Then, take your shaving gel and apply it to the areas you want to shave with your awesome Mach 3 Turbo. Make sure you always have a sharp blade. (This means not being lazy about changing the blade every time you see that little green strip start to fade.)
When you get out of the shower, pump five pumps of the Lubriderm into your palm and then squeeze a quarter-size amount of baby oil into it. Then, rub your hands together and apply it over your entire body — including the girly area. I hope this helps. Good luck!
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