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“Alex Rodriguez leads off, here in the Mohegan Sun, Powerball, Borgata, World Series of Poker, New York Lottery, Scratch and Win Sixth Inning, brought to you by Yonkers Raceway and Casino, ‘What happens in Las Vegas stays in Foxwoods.’
“Alex, as I’m sure you know, recently was investigated by MLB for gambling.”
Another one of those weeks, ya know?
Friday’s Yankees-Red Sox was such a can’t-miss, according to YES, that it stuck to its come-hell-or-high-water script, turning the visitors’ half of the third inning into the Kim Jones I’m Over Here Stadium Report. Did it matter that the Yankees and Red Sox were tied for first in the AL East and the game was 0-0? Well . . . nah.
Jones — and she’s as much a victim of this system as we are — reported no decision had been made on Ivan Nova, Phil Hughes was scheduled to start Tuesday, but not if he was used out of the bullpen in Boston, she’s not sure why Joe Girardi would use Hughes out of the bullpen, and A.J. Burnett was not going to the bullpen.
So, with the biggest game of the season going on, no score, YES had Jones report three “not sures” and one “definitely not” — all of which could have been said at any time from the booth.
To this Michael Kay responded, “Fascinating stuff, Kim.”
But Kay is easily fascinated. There is no statistic he won’t recite as significant, as if, writes reader Bud Musso, “He just found a pearl in his oyster.”
In Friday’s opening, Kay gushed that this was the first time the Yankees opened a series against Boston while on a seven-game winning streak since 1963!
Something like that can be found about every team — “First time since 1978 the Orioles have come into Kansas City after splitting a series with Oakland” — but not everyone would consider such things wow-worthy.
Friday’s Yankees-Red Sox, a 3-2 final, ran 3:26. Rome was built faster. This was one of those drag-ons that Kay used to lament as “unmanageable.” Funny, when umpire Joe West took a shot at the Yankees and Red Sox for stretching games, he was pounded. But he was right.
In Kay, those who wanted to see some pace restored to games had a steady advocate. For years, Kay jabbed MLB on the air for serving tryptophan-laced baseball. Right on, Mike!
But then one day, on YES, Kay said the opposite. He not only claimed he has no problem with games that run 3:30 and longer, he ridiculed those who do. What the hay?!
He performed this stunning 180 without providing even the slightest hint he ever had held the reverse view. He spoke as if YES’ viewers would be too stupid to know or recall better.
Likely under pressure from YES, Kay might’ve said nothing — ceased advocating quicker games — but he threw it in reverse and hit the gas; like a Vichy mayor, he raised then saluted the other side’s flag, as if that’s where he always had pledged his allegiance.
Yes, fascinating stuff, Kim.
End of 7½ innings Friday, a one-run game, and Kay, on behalf of YES, declared it’s time to text your selection for The Chevy Player of the Game. Bobby Thomson, in 1951, wouldn’t have been eligible. On YES, the last inning and a half or beyond don’t count.
But it’s not really about the Player of the Game. It’s about encouraging knuckleheads to text — “standard fees apply” — and mentioning Chevy.
Kay did make a good catch on Monday. As a YES camera swept the park in Chicago, Kay noted the obvious: Emptiness throughout the upper deck. Hmmm. Odd, he never notices all those empties in Yankee Stadium, right down there in front of him.
Reader Steve Boxer adds: “At least the White Sox crowd looked like a good old, normal, leave-the-worst-seats-empty bunch, unlike the bizarre upside-down Yankee Stadium crowds.”
Saturday? More. As the third pitch of Yankees-Red Sox was being thrown, FOX shrunk the view while alerting us via cue-tone to look at the bottom of the screen, where this message appeared: “Budweiser. Grab Some Buds.”
No fooling, FOX interrupted to demand that we look at something else! — as the third pitch of the game was being thrown. It’s all like a Lewis Black routine.
Another of those weeks. And there’s plenty more where they came from.
WFAN is stuck in the Woods
This just in from the WFAN newsroom: Tiger Woods finished one over for the day on Friday, one under after two rounds of the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational. That is all.
So who’s winning the tournament? WFAN didn’t say.
(Saturday, ESPN’s crawl reported, “Woods, +1, 13 back of leader Adam Scott.” Did that mean Woods was in second place?)
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Now that MLB has changed the Sunday, Sept. 11 Cubs-Mets game from 1 p.m. to 8 p.m. for ESPN (and wrecked it for ticket-buyers): Why? What will be the national attraction of the game? Both teams represent large TV markets? Not even folks here and in Chicago are likely to go out of their way to watch.
Wouldn’t a game such as Phillies-Brewers, switched from 1 p.m. to a 7 p.m. start in Milwaukee, have made common sense instead of no sense at all?
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Sweet job by ESPN’s Trey Wingo, Saturday on ESPN Radio, listing and admiring the contributions of NFL Films founder Ed Sabol, inducted this past weekend into the Hall of Fame. . . . CBS/Showtime has been cleared to produce an all-access documentary before, during and after the Army-Navy game, culminating Dec. 21 with a comprehensive two-hour airing on Showtime, 10 days after this year’s game. Pete Radovich, a guy who gets it, heads the project. . . . ESPN last week added Eric Mangini, Hugh Douglas and Damien Woody as NFL studio analysts. ESPN’s studio analysts total has surpassed North America’s bison population.
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According to some CBS experts, the last few days, every time Woods hit a good one, “He’s back!” Every time he hit a bad one, “He’s rusty, and that knee can’t be 100 percent.” And why have Nick Faldo and Peter Kostis chosen to be more respectful of Woods than of CBS’ audience? . . . Ralph Kiner, yesterday on SNY’s Braves-Mets, told how he became a World War II Navy pilot, “And we still won the war.”