To succeed at sexy conquests, sometimes you have to bring in the big guns. We rounded up a burlesque queen/seduction coach, a dating guru, a professional
pickup artist and an erotica editor to glean their come-on secrets. Don’t laugh — it’s safe to say that these people are getting it on much more often than you are.
The experts
* VERONICA VARLOW of Dangerdame.com, International Seduction/Confidence Coach and Burlesque Star
* MATT TITUS, Relationship expert and dating coach as part of a husband-and-wife team The Love Consultants
* RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL, editor of erotic books, most recently of “Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women”
* NICK SAVOY, “semi-retired” pickup artist, president and CEO of Love Systems, a school that holds how-to seminars
How do you let someone know you’re interested?
Bussel: “Smile — and make sure they know it’s directed at them. At some point, make sure you verbally let them know [you’re interested]. It takes courage, but it saves you the ‘does he/she like me back?’ obsessing.”
Titus: “Always be fearless. Simply walk up to the person and say, ‘Hello my name is ________ ’ ”
Varlow: “Seduce anything you touch: Take five minutes to circle the rim of a glass with your fingertip, while making eye contact. Touch your neck, adjust your stockings slowly.”
What about pushing aside the competition?
Titus: “Make light of your lover dating other people. Tease them in a lighthearted fashion about the type of dates they go on and the other people they date. Act confident about the fact that they are dating other people.”
Savoy: “If you compete with other guys, put them down, or are rude to them, it lowers your value.”
How to, well, keep things hot — if you get to that point?
Varlow: “Take the time to be sensual: NYC is so fast-paced, but when it comes to seduction — you must slooow down. Slow down your talking, punctuate every word, slow down your movements.”
Titus: “Never, ever do the same things in bed: incorporate new techniques, maneuvers and styles. Be selfless and a giver in bed and you will be a superstar!”
Texting as seduction tool: Pro or con?
Bussel: “Ease into text flirting; sometimes it’s just fun to let someone know you’re thinking about them in the middle of the day. It doesn’t have to be racy,
just something fun to distract them and make them think about you.”
Titus: “Texting is WEAK!
Verbalized content is so much more powerful and sexy than texting. Man up and say something!”
How do you broadcast to a love interest that you’re good in bed?
Bussel: “You don’t want to brag or give them too much information beforehand. But you can prepare them for a good time by teasing them with just a little bit of sexual contact: Whisper in their ear, or stroke their arm, or put your hand on their thigh and leave it there.
Savoy: “Be comfortable talking about sex. Act like someone to whom sex isn’t a big deal, it’s a natural, fun, interesting part of life — but neither an obsession nor something you’re scared of.”
Varlow: “Enjoy your food. Seriously. Take time to slow down when you eat and savor every bite. If I want to know if someone’s good in bed, I watch them eat.”