Entertainment

Scary stuff the kids saw

If you think that all spirits are harmless flotsam bits of ectoplasm or, as Scrooge said, “an undigested bit of beef” with “more gravy than grave” about them, here’s a show to give you pause.

SyFy’s “Paranormal Witness,” which premieres tonight, is all grave and no gravy.

Broken into two stories per episode, each segment combines both re-enactments and real-life testimony of people who have been “victims” of malevolent spirits.

The series begins with “Emily the Imaginary Friend,” about a young couple and their 5-year-old daughter, Isabella.

The trouble starts when the house they first wanted to buy didn’t pass inspection. Instead, they settled for a house across the street, which had just come onto the market. It was underpriced and seemed like a good starter house.

And it was almost the end of them.

Shortly after moving in, Isabella started playing with her new imaginary friend, Emily. So far, so good.

Then Isabella started getting weird and saying that Emily told her that her mother had done bad things to her in the bathtub.

On another occasion she told her grandmother that Emily told her to jump out of the window and that she’d catch her.

As the child got stranger and crazier-acting, things began flying off the shelves. Literally.

At first they blamed Isabella but then realized that she couldn’t have reached inside cabinets to throw stuff on to the floor.

Hell, she wasn’t even there when her toy box flung itself across the living room.

Another night, the kind-hearted, gentle dad went berserkers, lifted his wife up with one hand and choked her. He didn’t return to himself until they all ran outside.

That’s when the whole family ran for their lives and never looked back — and never heard from “Emily” again.

The second story, “The Lost Girl,” takes place in Florida in 2004.

A bratty teen refuses to go into church with her mom. On the drive home, she sees a girl on the side of the road.

The mom turns the car around, but the girl is gone — only to appear four miles down the road.

When they stopped to talk to her — well, you’ll have to see it for yourself.

“Paranormal Witness” is good, scary fun — especially as fall rolls in.

One question though: Why is the channel called SyFy, as in science fiction, if this is all supposed to be true and so unscientific?