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Hello, kitties!

Every cat-sitting assignment is an adventure — just ask Jeanne Adlon, New York author of the new book “Cat Calls.” During her 37 years caring for hundreds of cats, Adlon has kept kitties kosher, fed spoiled felines in Waterford goblets and even swept up unlucky pigeons: “I was watching a cat, Merlin, who lived in a house with a private garden,” Adlon says. “One day, there were feathers everywhere and a dead pigeon on the floor. I guess Merlin was bringing me a gift — but it was one I could have lived without!”

These New Yorkers can relate. Here, their tales of cat-sitting gone awry.

FILTHY FELINE

“Our building created a cat-sitting group so that when one of us goes out of town, someone in the building can take care of their cat. I went to feed a neighbor’s cat and was shocked when I opened the door. The apartment was filthy. There were dirty dishes all over the counter, curdled milk in coffee cups, and crumbs all over the floor. I felt like I needed a hazmat suit to enter! I couldn’t find any clean dishes for the cat, so I had to wash them myself. I fed the cat and got the heck out of there!”

— Lindsay Roman, Brooklyn

THE CAT BURGLED ME

“I sit for three cats, though I only ever see two of them; the other always hides. One day when I went to feed them, there was a cat standing right in front of their door trying to get in. I thought, ‘This must be the cat I never see. Poor thing has been waiting all this time to get back in.’ Later in the day I got a call from a neighbor asking if I had seen her cat. Turns out, that was the one! She almost had a heart attack thinking her cat was lost — and I got outsmarted by an impostor cat!”

— Robyn Elman, Queens

THE ACROBAT CATS

“I trekked to Hoboken in the dead of winter to watch my friend’s three cats for a night. She had just moved in, and two of the cats spent the whole night racing up and down the hall and in and out of all of the boxes. The other kept flipping into the bathtub like an acrobat — I thought he was going to break his neck. I didn’t sleep at all and never baby-sat for cats again!”

— Jessica DeCostole, Brooklyn

MACAVITY’S NOT THERE!

“I had ordered takeout when I was cat-sitting at a friend’s apartment. The delivery guy came, and when I brought the food to the kitchen, I realized the cat was missing.

I called him, put out his favorite treats — everything. I began panicking, thinking somehow the cat slipped out the door as I was fumbling for a tip. I ran out the door and looked all over the hallway, down the stairs, in the laundry room. Nothing. I came back to the apartment, unsure of what to do when I opened the fridge, thinking maybe I could find something in there to put out to try to lure the cat.

Turns out, the cat was in the fridge — he’d jumped in while my back was turned!”

— Anna Davis, Brooklyn

REBEL WITH CLAWS

“I was using my friend’s bathroom after feeding her cat, Piglet. When I opened the bathroom door, Piglet stood there hissing at me. I tried to walk past her, but she struck my big toe and drew blood. I ran back inside the bathroom, slammed the door and started to panic. Suddenly, their big dog came running upstairs to chase her away and save me!”

— Jackie Riva, Jersey City, NJ