Well, that didn’t take long. Hondo failed to keep it reel with the Marlins last night, which put the Opening Day NRN (nasty red number) at a crisp 90 lemongellos. Not to make excuses, but it’s true what they say: the bookies are ahead of the handicappers at this time of year.
Today, Mr. Aitch will go with one of the Hanson brothers to check the Metamucils and wreck Santana’s return. Tonight, he’ll put some DDPs (disposable dead presidents) on Kershaw to work some magic for the Dodgers in San Diego. Ten units apiece.
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Tiger Woods reportedly is ignoring an ailing half-brother who is desperate for some financial help. Woods apparently would like to assist but doesn’t want to make Obama look bad for not helping his impoverished half-brother in Kenya … The Today Show with Sarah Palin did a ratings number on Good Morning America with Katie Couric on Tuesday. Clearly, America prefers Mama Grizzly to Mama Perky … Congrats to Alec Baldwin and yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas, who became engaged recently. The advanced breathing techniques Hilaria relies on when practicing her craft will help her stay calm whenever Angry Alec berates her in public.