Entertainment

Too late for Current TV to be shocked

Keith Olbermann’s ex-bosses all eventually sound like ex-boat owners, those who say that the second best day of their lives is when they bought a boat, but their best day is when they sold it.

Actually, though, if Olbermann plays his cue cards right, he has a strong case.

After his latest former network employer, Current TV, fired Olbermann — one year into a five-year, $50-$70 million contract — for being a relentless pain in the arse, Olbermann is suing for the balance.

And that puts Current in an indefensible position. It either has to claim it had no idea about Olbermann’s track record as a relentless pain in the arse — and that’s virtually impossible — or claim that it did no due diligence before handing Olbermann the keys to the kingdom and the executive washroom.

It reminds us of when radio stations hire shock jocks — Don Imus, for example — then fire them for being shock jocks. And that’s followed by a boilerplate apology: “We’re shocked and appalled; his comments do not represent the high public standards of this company.” As if.

Olbermann had previously departed at least five other networks — networks eager to hire him — on rotten terms. Good riddance to a persistent self-absorbed, rude, disruptive and divisive presence.

And now Current has to pretend that Olbermann’s standard approach to TV life caught the network by surprise, as if it had no idea. As if.

Go get ’em, Keith. If you need folks to testify under oath that those in and around sports TV and then TV news knew you to be an insufferable pain in the keister long before Current TV came calling, brother, that shouldn’t be a problem.

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There’s a little-known and rarely enforced Federal Trade Commission statute about celebrity commercial product endorsements:

“Endorsements must reflect the honest and sincere opinions, beliefs and experiences of the endorser. If the advertisement indicates, the endorser must have, in fact, been a user of the product at the time that the advertisement was made, [and] still be a user of the product for as long as the advertisement runs.”

To that end, Jay Leno now appears in commercials for Burger King. He’s seen rolling up to and into a Burger King in a sports car.

So, if you happen to see Leno at Burger King, please let us know. A large fries and double cheeseburger with bacon to the first who presents indisputable proof. (Valid in all 50 states.)

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It’s becoming difficult to watch anything on any Disney network — ABC, assorted ESPNs, ABC Family — without being bombarded and insulted by corporate sells. And kids are not immune from being exploited, used as dupes.

For years, ESPN has televised the Little League World Series, carefully attaching players to graphics that identified their favorite ESPN shows and Disney destinations, rides and movies.

Those 12-year-olds who might’ve answered that their favorite TV shows are not on a Disney channel or that their favorite place to vacation is not a Disney theme park — those who gave the “wrong” answer — did not have their answer posted. Or ESPN could ensure “correct” answers by asking, “Who is your favorite SportsCenter anchor?”

Last week, ABC’s “Funniest Home Videos,” another Disney home shopping show when not applying laugh tracks to clips of people being slugged in the crotch, included a video of a girl, about 5, asked by her mom to identify what she was spelling, also the answer to where she was going to visit.

The mother slowly said, “D-I-S-N-E-Y.”