It’s hard to imagine a kids’ movie in which the hero could wax nostalgic about “running people through” — as in, with a sword — and make it sound kind of . . . adorable. But then, Pirate Captain (both his name and his title) is played by Hugh Grant. And the animation is by Aardman, the British claymation geniuses who brought you the adventures of the man-dog team Wallace and Gromit, as well as “Chicken Run.”
This time, directors Peter Lord and Jeff Newitt delve into the world of piracy, reclaiming it from both scary real-world associations and the eyelinered likes of Johnny Depp. The biggest thrill for this mild-mannered crew isn’t plundering or plank-walking, but Ham Night.
Still, Captain aims to win the annual “Pirate of the Year” competition, despite odds favoring the Jeremy Piven-voiced Black Bellamy, or sultry Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek). “You’re probably wondering,” she says, “if I’m as deadly as I am beautiful.”
It’s one of many send-ups, asides and downright weird and hilarious bits punctuating this painstakingly animated romp through the high seas and the court of Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton) — who really, really hates pirates. The most inspired character may be slump-shouldered Charles Darwin (David Tennant), first seen aboard the HMS Beagle, surrounded by exotic animals and mumbling, “I’ll never get a girlfriend.”
Darwin’s face lights up when he catches a glimpse of Polly, Pirate Captain’s oddly plump “parrot,” who turns out to be a near-extinct dodo. Soon the chase is on, as Darwin and his “manpanzee” assistant, a chimp who communicates via cue cards, scheme to abduct Polly and enter her in the royal science fair, where the queen seems oddly excited about adding the dodo to her petting zoo.
One might wonder whether jokes about lepers and beheadings border on the too-dark for a younger audience. That may be, although the same could be said about the collective works of Chuck Jones — and the joyfully silly gags in “Pirates!” often feel old-fashioned in a “Looney Tunes”-esque way (which may also explain why Aardman will reportedly be doing some animation for Warner Bros. in the future).
With its hip soundtrack — the Clash’s “London Calling,” Flight of the Conchords — “Pirates” seems aimed more at parents than kids. (Adults are also the only ones likely to get Grant’s “About a Squid” joke.) But I don’t think there’s any age that doesn’t appreciate a fish dressed up in a pirate hat, or the chaos that ensues when a deluge of vinegar meets a stockpile of baking soda.
“You can’t always say ‘arrr’ at the end of a sentence and assume that makes everything all right,” Pirate With a Scarf (Martin Freeman) says. Maybe, but these salty lads make you want to give it a try. Arrr.