Entertainment

Too many cooks

FAST FOOD: Curtis Stone, Cat Cora host “Around the World in 80 Plates.”

FAST FOOD: Curtis Stone, Cat Cora host “Around the World in 80 Plates.” (Virginia Sherwood)

DELI MEATS REALITY: Adam Richman (left) visits Katz’s Delicatessen on “Best Sandwich in America.” (
)

What would you get if you made a sandwich of “Amazing Race” and “Top Chef”? I know! I know! Pick me! How about, “Unamazing Chef”?

You are correct, Madame! Proceed to the next round where you get to be so bored you might stick your head in the oven like a roast pork.

Used to be in the good old days (last month), a person could become a flash-in-the-pan TV chef as long as he/she had a way with words, crazy hair and an accent. An insane number of tattoos were, of course, always encouraged.

But those days are disappearing as quickly as Paula Deen’s credibility to push the merch. Now, to make it as a TV chef, you have to go on the road, possibly cause damage to your intestinal tract by stuffing food and swilling beer as quickly as possible and generally act like a mannerless pig.

Or, at least, that seems to be the premise of Bravo’s truly terrible new show, “Around the World in 80 Plates.” Once again, we have the same personalities you’ve seen endless times before on cooking and competition shows.

Here, 12 incredibly annoying chefs split into two teams (à la “Hell’s Kitchen,” etc.) and then travel around the world, literally hitting the ground running in each city.

They rush from restaurant to restaurant (three in each city), stuffing themselves with the clock ticking. The team who finishes eating and drinking first wins “the essential ingredient.” Kill me.

I don’t know about you, but aren’t chefs supposed to savor food?

Under the instruction of forgettable chef hosts Cat Cora and Curtis Stone, the competitors then have to recreate the type of food they ate for restaurant customers amid much tension-creating “Celebrity Apprentice” music.

What would a food critic say about this show? Avoid it like a dish of bad mushrooms.

By way of comparison, next month Travel Channel also has a traveling food show debuting called, “Adam Richman’s Best Sandwich in America.” This show is like a great NYC food truck: a movable feast of greasy, good food.

Richman also travels to three cities per episode and eats. But he doesn’t rush it and stuff it as though he’s Joey Chestnut at Nathan’s hot-dog eating contest. He savors.

Because Richman must be a real connoisseur of great food, on the first episode, he chooses Katz’s infamous pastrami and corned beef as one of the competing sandwiches.

If I ever find out I have a week to live, I will spend it at Katz’s with a pastrami on rye — after I send a salami to my boy in the Army.

Now, this is how you make a great sandwich and traveling food show.