(
)
No sooner do the women file into the Skinny Minny speed-dating event at the Watering Hole in Gramercy Park than are the tags of their dresses inspected to ensure they are an appropriate size. To be fair, everyone registered for the evening has already been informed women larger than a size 8 are barred from entry. But each lady probably did not expect her dress size would then be prominently displayed — on her name tag.
Indeed, at the Skinny Minny On Speed dating event, women are literally reduced to numbers.
Very small, single-digit numbers.
“We all have relationship ‘deal-breakers,’ and that does not make us shallow, we’re just single New Yorkers that know what we want and are attracted to,” reads the description on the event’s Web site. “Guys, no need to worry about meeting a biggie-size chick ‘down-sizing’ to an 8 like when you’re dating online.”
It certainly must be upsetting meeting those “biggie-size chicks.”
“One of the biggest frustrations with online dating is that people are deceptive,” explains Amber Guesa, one of the co-founders of On Speed Dating. “The whole process of confirming women’s sizes at ‘Skinny Minny’ and then writing them on their name tags is really to visually assure daters that paid up to $40 to attend these events that due diligence was done.”
But surely, someone out there is going to like a size 10 lady. Some probably even focus a little bit on — gasp — personality. To that end, On Speed Dating offers plenty of events for men — and women — who have different preferences. There are ones for women who are “stacked” (i.e., A-cups need not apply), and there’s an event for eligible bachelors who are 6-foot-1 or taller. For those who don’t base their attraction purely on physical criteria, there are gatherings for flight attendants or people with accents.
Meanwhile, the “teeny size” women at the Skinny Minny event — who qualified for and willingly attended the speed dating session — seem skeptical of such restrictions.
“I wondered, ‘Is this what New York men are always doing, in their minds? Are they always just putting us in these little boxes about our size, our beauty, and is it just that here, they are being open about it?’ ” says Rachel Rabbit White, a 29-year-old journalist covering the event.
“I know culture teaches us a woman’s worth is her youth, her looks, her beauty, her size,” adds the East Village resident. “But to see that idea openly embraced by these men was sort of terrifying. I left wondering, ‘Secretly are they all like this?’ ”
Maybe. The men don’t have many reservations about seeing women grouped as numbers. John, a 30-year-old entrepreneur at the event, says, “It’s my personal preference that a woman be skinny, but I think it’s every man’s personal preference.”
But one plus-size problem with Skinny Minny is although the men feel their preferences are met, the women do not feel the same. There’s no expectation that the men will be skinny — but there is an expectation they will be hot.
“What I thought was weird was that the men had the appearance of being so particular and did not occur to me as ‘good catches,’ ” says Cheryl Teichroeb, a 35-year-old East Village resident. “That was very strange and left me feeling that this service is catering to men who are either delusional or overly confident.”
But for some women, the very nature of the event seems unappetizing. “These men were clearly so shallow, so obvious, I couldn’t care what they thought,” says White. “I went home and on the way stopped for a huge slice of pizza.
“I took a bite and thought, ‘Screw those men.’ ”