BOSOM BUDDIES: Steve Schirripa (left) hanging out with “Sopranos” soul brother James Gandolfini in Tribeca. (Splash News)
I Met Jim for the first time at the read-through when I first got hired for “The Sopranos.”
The first scene I ever did on the show was at the store Satriale’s, where Bobby walks in and says something like, “To the victor belongs the spoils,” and Tony says something like, “Get outta here before I shove your quotation book up your fat f–king ass!”
He was trying his best to scare me, but you didn’t have to do much acting with Jim, because it was all there — he was a big, intimidating guy, but he was really trying to help me the best he could because I was nervous.
It was my first scene with all the stars of the show, and I didn’t know anyone. Jim made me feel at home immediately. That’s the way he was — he was the boss, not only on the show, but he was the leader, and it trickled down.
He always tried to make you better, which sounds like a cliché, but it’s true.
I remember another early scene I had, with Uncle Junior, Dominic Chianese. It was late at night in Newark — I remember it like it was yesterday — and when we called it a night, Jim drove by with his driver in his SUV, and as he went by, he waved at me and I said, “I’ll see you, Jim.” And he had the driver back the car all the way up, got out, hugged me and said, “We’ll see you again.”
I’ll never forget that.
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Jim was a deep thinker; he thought about every nuance, every word he said as Tony Soprano. It was like, “Should I be standing or sitting when Tony says this?” or “Why would I be there?”
But in real life, he absolutely was not Tony Soprano, not in any way, shape or form.
Jim was always lots of fun on the set and was very friendly with the crew, more comfortable with his Teamsters driver than with the suits. He liked to go to dive bars and hang out with everyone. You didn’t see Jim out very often with big celebrities because he was a regular guy, a Jersey guy.
We used to joke about being the same size. We wore what we called “The Uniform,” which was jeans, a black Tommy Bahama shirt and a T-shirt. We’d say, “We’re gonna wear ‘the uniform.’ ” And he would say, “I’m starting to lather up” when he was sweating.
We did that great fight scene in the lake house at the beginning of the last season. One of the reasons it’s such a great scene is that we were such good friends, and we said to each other beforehand, “Let’s try to make this as real as we can, go as far as we can without killing each other.” When his hands were around my neck, it was very realistic.
One time, I had to make him laugh, in that scene where Bobby wears the hunting outfit. And Jim says, “I don’t know how you’re gonna make me laugh at 7 in the morning,” because nothing is funny at 7 in the morning.
So I got this giant dildo, the size of an Italian bread, and when I turned the corner, and the camera was on Jim, I was twirling it around and he laughed and fell onto the counter. You can see it in the show, and it was very much a real laugh.
I worked with him quite a bit, especially toward the end of the series, and we were all very good friends. He was a really generous guy. Jim had a bit of a contract dispute on Season 4, and when the season started, he called each of us into his trailer and gave 15 or 16 of us $33,333 apiece, and all he said was, “Thanks for sticking by me.” There are a lot of TV stars who made a lot more money than Jim who never did that.
Another time, we were doing a personal appearance in Vegas — Jim was a beautiful guy but not too comfortable doing that kind of thing — and if he felt he hadn’t been nice, if he felt he’d been short because everybody was always clawing at him, he would go back and make it right.
Anyway, we had the same business manager, and Jim said to me at the appearance in Vegas, “Hey, you did most of the work,” and he said to our business manager, “Give him $10,000” — just like a guy would buy you a beer. That’s a good guy, man.
Jim adored his family. He had a party for his daughter, who none of us had ever met, a few months ago. There were around 200 people there, with his friends from all walks of life — his friends’ friends, neighborhood friends, his wife’s friends, nieces, nephews, his sisters, brothers-in-law, aunts, uncles. He was very happy with his baby, holding her and hugging her. I think he was a little scared at first, since he was around 50 when she was born.
It’s a shame she’s not gonna get to know her dad.
Jim was a great husband, a great father and a great friend to anyone he touched. If you needed something, Jim was there. He took care of a lot of people. He was an incredible actor, but was so much more than people know. He was very much a brother to me and to so many others.
He always cared about the other guy. I remember one year, at the Emmys, they wanted a certain amount of “Sopranos” people onstage, and Jim said, “It’s either all of us or no one.” Yes, he was the star, but he acknowledged that he couldn’t do it alone.
We had a lot of laughs, and I want to give a toast to him: Until we meet again, my friend.