ORLANDO, Fla. — The multi-dimensional Magic — awfully deserving of a seven-game series decided at the buzzer for deposing the Celtics, postponing King James’ coronation and turning Kobe into Derek Fisher’s caddy — malfunction so often at critical times, Stan Van Gundy should have to pay to get into Game 5 today . . . scalper’s price.
I cannot write it any more delicately than that.
Not after witnessing the Magic mutually mutilate sure success in Game 4 that would’ve stalemated the Finals at two apiece.
Not after observing one team member after another choke, gag, unravel, apple, fold up along the dotted lines and freeze.
Not after watching Jameer Nelson’s baby-blanket coverage of Fisher on his regulation game-tying 3. It was as if he were trying to sell the square footage of a New York City apartment, zaps Clear Channel’s Gerry Vaillancourt: “See how much room you have?”
Jeff Van Gundy wasted no time in correctly scolding Nelson for not “crowding” Fisher above the arc, playing him instead for an irrelevant lay-up.
Conversely, ABC’s sit-down comic was disinclined to waste his breath attending to the Magic’s mistake coach, a noticeably mute effort to absolve his older brother of any blame on the blunder, as if he were an innocent bystander.
Players, referees, the NBA office and anyone else with a tattooed name, rank and serial number are fair game for Jeff Van Gundy to second guess, chew out and mock . . . exempting coaches, especially Stan the Mannequin. Not a disparaging word was heard about a failure to insure someone more arresting than the 5-foot-10 Nelson was guarding Fisher; someone like 6-foot 3 Anthony Johnson (remember him?) or 6-foot-3 Courtney Lee.
And, unless I’m going deaf as well as blind, there also was no mention of the wretched failure to foul Fisher before he took root to shoot.
How many games must be lost before it dawns on players and coaches and commentators in need of canes for the brain that it’s more advantageous to put an opponent on the line for two free throws rather than recklessly provide an opportunity to deadbolt matters with a trey?
The fact Nelson did not put Fisher on the line consequentially pins the tail on Stan Van Gundy.
Game management is what head coaches are paid to do. Stan Van Gundy is being paid millions theoretically to run games, think on his feet, stay calm when minds race and breathing is heaviest; a vital part of the latter is knowing when to demand your team take a tactical foul — even if it means prolonging the agony a few additional moments.
The rest — game preparation, offense, defense, etc. — can be handled by others.
Think it ever occurred to Stan the Mannequin that Nelson — pounding the floor for the final 18:28 in just his fourth game back after not being involved in stiff competition for 3½ months — might’ve been draggin’ (on defense) a bit by then?
Not even I can purport with a clear conscience this particular Van Gundy is this imperceptive:
Who knows, maybe Nelson’s overuse is simply about lost confidence in Rafer Alston, who tailed off dramatically after notching nine of his 11 points (4-of-6 field goals) in the first quarter, or disciplining him for shooting too much (13) and missing too often (8).
Maybe it’s about better ball distribution — Alston had two assists in a little over 27 minutes; Nelson two (of three) in the fourth — and passing up shots; Nelson didn’t load up once in the final 17 minutes.
Maybe Van Gundy is being pressured (ordered?) by Magic hierarchy or just
his immediate boss to play Nelson, a 42-game All-Star.
Maybe GM Otis Smith never was sold on Alston, a semester solution to buy time until Nelson’s surgically repaired shoulder mended, acquired on the recommendation of the Stan and Jeff, who coached him in Miami and Houston.
Then again, maybe Stan the Mannequin simply forgot Anthony Johnson, who enjoys manhandling smaller opponents, especially ones his own age, is still on the team’s active roster.
Come to think of it, thanks to column castigator Frank Drucker, Walt Disney has worked up more of a sweat in this series than Anthony Johnson.
By the way, did Hedo Turkoglu honestly think he would be able to shake Trevor Ariza, who’s playing for Next Town Brown’s next contract, and get a return pass after inbounding with 4.6 seconds left in regulation and the score tied?
Actually, that’s an afterthought. First question should be, given one burned timeout and another chance to read L.A.’s defense, how could such an adept passer as Hedo not get the ball inbounds to Lewis?
I’ll tell you how: He failed to ball-fake a single time when he should’ve done it at least twice. That made it relatively uncomplicated for the Lakers to deny, deny, deny.
So, instead, the pass went to Mickael Pietrus, not known for creating and converting a jumper off the dribble or finding an open man, Lewis in the left corner. Hence, a mug shot from 20 feet out.
To Van Gundy’s credit, it’s not easy losing when your team shoots 17 more free throws. Of course, it helps if you’re able to capitalize on the disparity; the Magic botched as many as the Lakers downed. Seven misses happened in the fourth quarter, including two by Howard with 11 seconds to go, up three.
Hey, what do the Magic expect when Nick Anderson introduces them?
Before Paul Westphal thinks I no longer care, congratulations for getting the Kings job. Hopefully, he can use it as a steppingstone to return to the NBA.